SIMM: The Series, Land of the Plague
by thegriffin88
Summary: In this highly anticipated sequel, join one of ff. net's favorite couples as they journey to a land lain waste by the foolishness of man. What is this new and terrible invader that threatens to take the world of Naruto by storm? Read and find out!
1. MemoriesYears Later

SIMM: The Series, Land of the Plague is my baby, so to speak. It is, frankly, the greatest idea I have had since I came up with my flagship original novel: The House of Claw. Words cannot express how awesome I hope this will be. The series I had originally planed to put here will now be a series all its own and will not appear until this one is finished. But this will be awesome, totally awesome. My track record should prove that.

_"That and you don't churn out new chapters like you say you will."_

Shut up Baldwin.

* * *

Disclaimer: If I actually owned Naruto do you think I'd be posting this on a website called fanfiction . net? No, because then it wouldn't be a fanfiction but an anime all its own and it would be cannon and everything here on in would have actually happened.

So, in other words, no I do not own Naruto or any of its associated characters.

I do, however, own Kelly, Shinobi Griffin and the copyright to this story itself. Plus, I have all these loyal fans to back me up.

They're like lawyers only rabid.

* * *

**Memory/Years Later**

(Kelly's P.O.V.)

I watched as my love stumbled back into our room, his ANBU uniform covered in mud and blood. He collapsed onto the bed next to me with a shudder and a groan. I carefully unstrapped the katana from his back and slipped my hand under his vest, rubbing his back in slow circles.

"You look awful dear."

"You should see the other guy." He mumbled into the pillow.

I let out a soft laugh as he turned to face me, exhaustion evident on his face. He pulled me into his arms, burying his face into the crook of my neck. I began to stroke his hair and noticed that mud and god knows what else was beginning to crust in it.

"You should take a shower, you're all over blood." I whispered in his ear.

He grunted and let go, hesitating.

"Can you get up?" I asked.

He nodded and slowly eased himself off the bed. I winced as I heard his joints pop and crack. He'd be sore in the morning. I was about to get up and begin changing the now muddy sheets but then I had a better idea. Slipping out of all but my underwear, I stepped into the bathroom and right into the shower.

"Ah! Kelly…" He gasped as my arms encircled his waist.

"Hello love." I said, giving him a peck on the cheek. "I thought I'd give you a break and wash you myself."

"Hrm," he grunted, raising an eyebrow, "I think this is one of your clever ways of getting frisky with me."

I gave him my best kicked-kitten look. I like cats.

"That's only partially true. I can tell you can barely stand up let alone enjoy my 'friskiness". I won't even go there if that's what you want. Look, I still have my underwear on."

He smiled and I felt him relax against me.

"Alright then." He said.

I coaxed him to lean against the wall as I took the soap in my hands and lathered my hands in it before drawing them up his chest and over his shoulders. I heard him let out a deep purr of satisfaction as I massaged his sore and aching muscles. Suddenly, he turned around and kissed me. I couldn't help it, I kissed back. The next thing I knew, we were up against the tiled walls of the shower, he was kissing me and I was trying my hardest to keep my hands from going lower.

"I missed you." He said as he broke the kiss.

I ran my fingers through the wet strands of his hair.

"And I missed you. But no sex when you're this exhausted, you'd never finish." I said teasingly.

He gave a soft laugh and smiled.

"I know, I know." He kissed me again, "It's so tempting right now though."

I smiled coyly and kissed him on the forehead.

"You finish washing up. I'm going to change to covers you muddied up."

I left him to shower in peace and stripped the covers off the bed before throwing them into the hall for Kabuto to trip on and eventually wash. By the time I was done putting fresh covers on my love had finished his shower and reentered the bedroom with a towel slung around his waist as he wrung the excess water out of his hair. He fell onto the bed with a contented sigh as I took the towel from his hands and began lovingly drying him off. I handed him the black silk slacks he wore to bed as well as the haori with the snake emblem on it before we bundled up under the covers. He pulled me close and nuzzled himself in the crook of my neck, instantly asleep. I smiled and draped an arm over him, drifting off soon after.

_ (3__rd__ person flashback)_

_It was strange. Like he was having an out of body experience; simply a spirit, floating, observing. And what he observed made his heart ache._

_Three young children were walking along a dusty road, following an older man, their sensei. Two of the children, a blonde girl and a boy with short white hair, were talking with one another. The girl seemed to be chastising the boy for something which he was either trying to deny or apologize for. In the back was another boy, pale with long black hair. And while he normally displayed annoyance at his two teammates, a small smiled on his lips told a different story, a story that said he was happy to be with people who were willing to be his friends._

I awoke when I felt the weight on the bed shift. Mumbling sleepily, I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

"Mrm…Ochi?" I muttered.

I saw him sitting on the edge of the bed, running his fingers through his hair worriedly. Even in the darkness I noticed that he was shivering slightly.

"Sweetie?" I said softly, climbing over to him and embracing him, he was covered in cold sweat. "Sweetheart what's wrong?"

"Just a…a dream." He said, clearly embarrassed by his own 'weakness'.

"A bad dream?"

He nodded.

I kissed him on the cheek and on the neck, slowly pulling him back down and under the covers again. That was when he embraced me fiercely, pulling me as close as physics would allow and burying his head against my chest. I shushed him and kissed him again, rubbing his back slowly. After a while I looked into his eyes. From those golden orbs I gleaned that he was still in much need of rest. I kissed him again.

"No more bad dreams. Okay?"

He nodded.

"Okay."

As he drifted off to sleep the little voice in my head spoke up.

_"What do you think caused that?"_ Baldwin asked incredulously.

_"He's probably nervous about tomorrow."_ I informed the ghost, _ "After all, it'll be the first time he's been back to Konoha since the incident with the Third Hokage. He won't be welcomed."_

"_Yes. Probably stressing over how his former teammates with react. You and Tsunade are on okay terms thus far but Jiraiya we have yet to see."_

"_Yes. And Anko." _ I sighed. i_ "Oh well, I suppose we'll just have to see what tomorrow brings."_/i


	2. Public AffectionNostalgia

**Public Affection/Nostalgia**

(Kelly's P.O.V.)

So, to recap, because I was too busy last chapter to do so. My name is Kelly Sturken, I'm 21, from New York and an aspiring author/forensic anthropologist.

_"Your first book should be a children's book: A Child's First Book of Forensic Pathology. Avenge my death!"_

That's Baldwin. He's a ghost who's standing in for my conscience. He's 800 years old and a pain in the ass but I love him dearly.

The other person I love dearly is the one, the only, Orochimaru, Lord of the Sound.

_"She would've hooked up with the Lord of the Sith but it never worked out."_

Right B, whatever you say.

So, it's been about three months since we officially started…well, being together. And in that time I've actually learned to control my chakra. Yup, it turns out that I actually do have some, it's really just the stuff I use for my empathic healing! And the best news is that I'm a summoner now, of cats! It's so cool, I love kitties! I've learned to summon all sorts of different jutsu cats, each with their own special powers and abilities. But, I still haven't found out where that phoenix came from. I wish I knew, she did save my boyfriend's life after all. Ah well.

Back to the present, right now we're riding to Konoha to meet with Hokage Tsunade. I've convinced her let Orochimaru and I draw up a ceasefire between Leaf and Sound. If anything, it will stop our security from being breached by ANBU and hunter nins. I swear, if that alarm goes off one more time… But I digress, it will be a great thing for both nations. However, as I ride along on my main cat summon, Kisaki, I can't help but see the virtual raincloud above his head. He's been on edge all week, Jiraiya's going to be there for the actual meeting and Anko's going to be in the village; although she could just avoid him the entire time. Still though, he's been so quiet it worries me. I can almost see him wrestling with his thoughts, like two dragons snapping at each other. I could also see Hebi, his two-headed cornsnake summon, curling around and around his arm, a reflection of his agitation.

"Sweetie?" I asked.

He looked up and I could see the worry in his sweet gold eyes.

"Sweetie, I'm worried about you."I continued, "I could barely get you to calm down last night. I didn't think that this whole ceasefire treaty would get you so worked up."

He smiled, trying to look reassuring.

"I'm fine my dear, really I am."

I gave him a skeptical look but kept my thoughts mostly to myself for the rest of the ride. A few hours later we approached the main gates of Konoha.

"Wonder where Griff is," I said, shielding my eyes to peer up at the top of the doors, "She said she'd meet us."

Suddenly, a loud whistle filled the air, like a bomb being dropped. Without much more warning than that, something large and yellow slammed into the dirt in front of us.

"Death from above!" it squawked.

I smiled as Shinobi Griffin clawed herself out of the hole she had just made.

"Nice one Griff." I laughed.

She saluted.

"How goes it eh? It's the big day right?"

"Yes," Orochimaru replied, "would you be so kind as to inform Lady Tsunade that we've arrived."

"Yes sir-e!" She said, more chipper than usual as she took to the sky.

A few moments later, the gates opened and several guards stood there, waiting to escort us.

"Shall we?" I asked, kissing my love on the cheek.

(Ochi's P.O.V.)

The last thing I had wanted to do was worry her. But already I could feel her stare as she looked on at me as we rode side by side through the streets of the village that I had once called home. I repressed several shudders as the sights, sounds and smells stirred up a deep sense of nostalgia. Sure I remembered my teammates, the things we did together, before I had begun my experiments. But now, faced with the haunting memories of what had happened when I had launched my invasion, I could barely look at the buildings without feeling like my arms were burning up again. I realized then that, in a sick sort of way, Sarutobi's curse had actually brought Kelly and I together. Kelly had always told me that seeing me in pain in the manga that was her world's window to my own had made her look at me differently; as a 'potential mate' as she had put it. She would never have considered me 'boyfriend material', another phrase I credit to her, had I somehow escaped the Third Lord's curse.

But despite that and all that had happened in the past three months, I couldn't help but feel a shudder of apprehension as we neared the building where Sarutobi and I had fought. A feline yowl snapped me out of my thoughts. Sanpo, the cat summon Kelly had called, insisting that I ride alongside her, was complaining about how I had begun to fist my hands in his fur in agitation. I mumbled an apology and noticed her looking at me.

I was worrying her.

* * *

It took me a while to actually be happy with this one but I am finally. And that's what counts.


	3. BetraylTraitor

**Betrayal/Traitor**

(3rd Person)

"Lose someone?"

Tsunade, the Godaime Hokage, turned to see Griffin leading in Jiraiya by his hair.

"Leggo! That hurts!" He yelped.

Griffin let him go so he could face the Princess' wrath.

"Let me guess, you found him at the bathhouses. Jiraiya this is one occasion you can't be late for!"

"I thought I had more time!" He protested.

"Well you don't. Take a look at this."

She led him over to a monitor that had several different screens on it, each on a different location in Konoha, mainly, the path Orochimaru and Kelly were taking to the Hokage's office.

"A kitty-cat!" Griffin squealed with delight.

"She's learned to summon. Interesting choice too. I wonder how he came by that scroll." Jiraiya muttered.

"She's grown more powerful since I last saw her." Tsunade said, a hint of grave worry in her voice.

"My master's the best! She wouldn't hurt a fly!" Griffin said, almost launching into one of her speeches about morality.

"That may be but we're still keeping them under surveillance." Tsunade informed her.

"Oh alright, I'm going to go watch the kid train." Griffin huffed. "Big Brother is watching you." She threw over her shoulder on her way out.

Jiraiya watched as she flew off.

"Who's this kid?" he asked.

"Uchia Sasuke. You ought to know him at least by name." Tsunade replied.

"Oh yeah, Naruto's teammate." Jiraiya said thoughtfully.

There was a knock at the door.

"Lady Hokage, they've arrived." One of the ANBU stationed by the door informed her.

"Send them in." she said as she and Jiraiya braced themselves.

(Kelly's P.O.V.)

"Stop fussing."

"I'm not fussing."

"You keep running your fingers through your hair. You always do that when you're stressed." I reached up and kissed him, "Just relax; they won't crucify you just yet. That's why we're here."

He sighed deeply. Then, the door opened. It was one of the ANBU; he was wearing a cat mask. I had always wanted one of those things; only mine would be a phoenix.

"Follow me." He said.

i _"Come with me if you want to live."_ /i Baldwin said in his best Arnold Schwarzenegger impression.

We were led into a pretty normal looking conference room. Jiraiya and Tsunade stood up as we entered. After the formal greetings were over everyone took a seat again.

"Jiraiya, you're on time for once." Orochimaru commented.

"Orochimaru…you have a girl clinging to you." Jiraiya replied.

"I know, this is Kelly."

"Hey. I'd shake your hand but I don't know where it's been." I said.

Much to everyone's surprise, Orochimaru chuckled at my little joke. Jiraiya stared for a bit, and then busted out laughing.

"Ha, ha! That's quite a catch you got there!" he said.

"If we could please get down to business." Tsunade reminded us, trying to hide the little smirk that had crept onto her face.

The meeting was largely uneventful, full of formality and posturing and long words that basically meant that we would not attack Konoha and Konoha would not attack us. When the sun was starting to set, we were finally led out of the meeting room and off to our sleeping quarters. They were nice, like a good sized hotel room. Only no TV.

_"What you kids do at night is entertainment enough for the whole Land of Fire."_ Baldwin smirked.

But I was too busy worrying over Orochimaru to listen to him. The moment we had gotten into the room, he had collapsed on the bed with a shaky sigh. I could tell the meeting had worn him out completely.

"You okay sweetie?" I asked, sliding my hand up his shirt to rub his chest in an effort to calm his racing heart.

"I will be." He answered, circling one arm around my waist and drawing me closer.

(3rd Person)

Meanwhile, in the 'Situation Room', the other two Sannin were discussing my effect on their former teammate:

"He laughed…that's kinda creepy." Jiraiya said.

"Not really. I mean he has his creepy laugh but that one…she makes him laugh. That's love right?" Tsunade suggested.

"I went to a comedy club once, is that love?"

"You know what I mean!"

"Of course I do! This is my field after all!"

"Your field is smut."

"There's love in it too! If you weren't such a prude-"

"Trouble in paradise?"

They turned, Griffin was clambering through the window.

"Couldn't help but overhear because…well, I was busy dropping water balloons on Neji." Ignoring the glare Tsunade was giving her, Griffin pressed on, "It's not as though he is entirely incapable of love, you'll remember my own situation Lady Hokage, a few years back."

Tsunade nodded, frowning slightly.

"I also remember your promise; both of them. So shouldn't you at least be pestering Kakashi with those water balloons?"

Griffin gulped and flew back out the window. Jiraiya watched her wing off into the night before asking:

"What promises? I know about her being a traveler and all but what's the other thing about?"

Tsunade sighed.

"It's a long story."

* * *

I just finished watching 'Air Force One'. That's where I got the whole Situation Room joke. Fun. Also, yay for Griffin and her slightly mysterious past.


	4. Two Sides to Every StoryReconcile

**Two Sides to Every Story/Reconcile**

(Ochi's P.O.V.)

I was standing at the window in our room at the Konoha Shinobi Headquarters, staring out into the warm night sky. I hadn't been able to stay asleep; I was too worried about the coming days under the scrutiny of those I once considered…family I guess you could say.

When had I become like this? When had I become so captured by her beauty, so captivated by her taste, so helpless at the very hint of her scent? She smelled like so many different things, a reminder of how complicated she could be. After work she usually carried with her the scent of dust from the artifacts and bones she worked with. On her worst days the odor of death hung about her, that was from more recent finds. But it was in the morning and evening that she smelled most like herself, that unique scent that belonged only to her.

I could see her now, her small frame curled underneath the blankets, her face calm and her breathing slow. I carefully made my way across the room, settling onto the bed near her head, running my slender fingers through her soft brown hair, loving the feel of it.

I still couldn't believe that she had captured me so well, I could do nothing to hurt her, everything I did was only to please her. I had stopped my attack on Konoha just for her, just because seeing her eyes that look she gave me every time I mentioned it pained me more than anything I had ever endured. She was my life now. She loved me and I loved her; she whispered it to me each night, told me in her kisses and actions, just as I did. She told me that she wanted to stay with me always, that she was finally happy.

So I had done away my hatred of Konoha and spoken to Tsunade, making an agreement. The woman resented me, that I knew, but her fondness for the young woman was stronger than her hate for me, so she had agreed to meet and discuss terms. The love of my life, the woman that had so changed me, Kelly Sturken would stay with me and in return I, Orochimaru, leader of the Sound, would cease my attack on Konoha.

It was just a formality, both Tsunade and I knew that I couldn't have attacked Konoha anymore, but Tsunade didn't want to have to label Kelly as an enemy nin and didn't want to have to send hunter nins after her. So she had agreed. It saved us both the need to worry over Kelly, she would be viewed in Konoha as something like an angel, sent down to earth to bring peace and good will, and she and I could live happily with no outside threats.

That was my one goal in life now, to make her happy. I wanted to always see her smile, she was my all. Her eyes slowly fluttered, indicating that she was waking up. I caressed her face and she leaned into the hand, even in her half-awakened state. I couldn't stop the smile that formed on my face as her azure blue eyes are revealed, her love in them faultless.

"I love you." with that she brought her lips to mine, soft lips stroking my own, sharing love and passion in a delicate kiss.

When we finally broke apart I smiled at her.

"And I you." I kissed the corner of her mouth and slowly made my way down to her neck.

I couldn't wait to spend the rest of my life with the angel that had brought me out of my obsession with power, making me shed my old life like a snake skin, leaving a new man underneath, one that loved her with every ounce of my being.


	5. Reunion

I'd like to make not here that Sasuke is not necessarily out of character. He's in the character he was at the very beginning of the Naruto series. The SIMM timeline takes place before the time skip. During happier times…but not for much longer. I kinda miss the good old days. ;_;

* * *

**Reunion**

(3rd person P.O.V.)

In a training clearing:

"Your symbol's a fan? I always thought it looked like a fishing lure. Are you sure?" Griffin questioned.

"Of course I'm sure!" Sasuke growled.

Despite her size, one of Griffin's favorite positions was on top of Uchia Sasuke's head. Although currently half of her was sitting on his shoulders while the other half was leaning on his head. Either way she was rather heavy.

"Do you mind?" He asked, getting more than a little frustrated.

"Not at all my dear shinobi. It builds character." She smirked.

Sasuke was about to inquire exactly what part of his character was being built by having her sit like that when his trained ears picked up a rustling in the underbrush. Griffin sniffed the air and smiled.

"Well, well, well, the sword stealer returns."

She hopped down from Sasuke and trotted over as Suigetsu emerged from the forest, her tail wagging.

"Hey there feather-brain." Suigetsu said, patting Griffin as she hugged his midsection.

Griffin turned and saw Sasuke in fighting stance.

"Don't point that thing at me." Griffin said in a fake Southern drawl, "Puddle-boy's with me. Suigetsu this is Sasuke, another person I've taken under my wing pun intended."

Griffin's puns were always intentional.

"Sasuke huh? I'm guessing that's Uchia Sasuke." Suigetsu said. "We fought your brother a few months ago. Well, actually, my boss did but we were in the same battle. Ow!" He yelped as Griffin bit him.

"Ixnay on the otherbay." She muttered.

"Shouldn't that be 'rotherbay?" Suigetsu asked.

"Sure thing Scooby-doo." Griffin replied.

She looked over and noticed that Sasuke hadn't stood down.

"He's with the Sound and if I'm not mistaken the Sound's our enemy."

Griffin hopped over and retook her perch on his noggin.

"Not this week champ. Or haven't you heard?"

Sasuke snorted.

"What? Sound appreciation week?"

Griffin cuffed him on the head.

"The treaty you doofus."

"The Otokage and the Hokage are currently meeting to discuss a possible truce." Suigetsu informed him.

They all turned their attention towards what they could see of the Hokage's office. Wondering just what was going on up there.

* * *

Notes: I like the word noggin and Griffin's comments about the Uchia symbol reflect my own as always.


	6. FracturedFriendship

**Fractured/Friendship**

(Kelly's P.O.V.)

"So you're saying he's a ticking time bomb?"

"Precisely."

I sighed and leaned back in the chair in front of the Hokage's desk.

"A little over a year ago the timeline of the manga split from the timeline of here. And in the manga Sasuke runs off with Orochimaru after receiving his curse mark in the Forest of Death. Great name by the way."

Tsunade shook her head.

"The only person to have encountered Orochimaru during the Chunin exams was Anko, his old student. He tried to get her to follow him by marking her but she's got a pretty strong will."

"So then, she hadn't been marked before?" I asked.

"No."

I sat back and thought about everything she had told me.

_"For some reason, Anko wasn't marked when Ochi left the village, but rather when he appeared in the forest during the Chunin exams. And so Sasuke wasn't marked at all…"_

"This could possibly work in our favor but there is still the threat of Itachi. I came here shortly after his attack just outside the village where he incapacitated Kakashi and then went on to beat down Sasuke. Itachi is Sasuke's weakness, his breaking point if you will, he'll do anything to get strong enough to kill him and that includes siding with the bad guys."

"Well he's not about to join the Akatsuki." Tsunade said. "And I doubt you'd allow Orochimaru to mark him. And from what I can see he's not about to go behind your back and do it anyway."

"Thank-you, that kind of trust is valued. However, while the Akatsuki are our biggest threat right now they may not be the only threat in around. Keep like, a suicide watch on him…a deserter watch…I dunno, you think of something, but he has to be monitored for suspicious activity. Griffin's already watching out for him but she's still bound by holy oath to follow Kakashi on missions so if he leaves the village so does she."

"I'll see to it that that's done. As far as the Council of Elders is concerned, you're as good as a prophet."

"Thank-you, that's such an awesome compliment. I just hope I can keep the team together, like the good-old days." I smiled, "Such happy times."

Then I realized that all the nostalgia was lost on Tsunade so I excused myself on the premise of going to fetch Orochimaru so that the second day of the meetings could begin.

---

(Ochi's P.O.V.)

_Images flashed through his mind, his training days, the mission to Snow when he had made his first kill, Tsunade practicing her healing jutsu on him and Jiraiya. (though it was mostly Jiraiya) But most of all he thought of the talks they had, under the stars or between the trees on the long missions into enemy territory. It was in those days that they were constantly besieged by war, and yet, they still found it in themselves to laugh at each other's jokes, however lame._

"_Such a perfect friendship…and you destroyed it."_

"_It was doomed from the start."_

"_You're the one who lit the powder keg."  
_

"If this is what Kelly has to deal with all the time I pity her." Orochimaru mumbled to himself as he shut out his own conscience.

That's when he heard the door open.

"There's 423 squares on the ceiling, in case you were wondering." She said, referring to how I had been staring.

"Well that saves me some time." I chuckled, deciding to play along.

"I'll save you thirty bucks too, watch: Dumbledore dies on page 596."

I just smirked, content to let her Earth pop-culture references blow past me. She lay down next to me and I put my arm around her waist, drawing her close to me as she wrapped her arms around my neck. We lay there for a moment, content just to be close to one another. That is, until she decided to roll on top of me. Instinctively, I curled my legs around her, pulling her against my body, a deep purr of satisfaction rumbling in my chest as she kissed at my neck.

"We have meetings." She whispered.

"I'd rather not go." I whispered back.

"Me neither."

We held each other like that for some time, her kissing me over and over as I stroked up and down her back. At last we had to separate, not wanting to be late. But the warmth she left me with was comfort enough to get me through the second day of negotiations.

* * *

The first half I wrote in one sitting and the second half I wrote while house sitting and watching Friday the 13th.

Yeah, I can write sensual love while watching teenagers get body parts hacked off by a serial killer zombie.


	7. TriangleTwo isn't a Pair

**Yuki**: I got the Dumbledore line from an icon, and here's your lemon, I had it planned all along.

* * *

**T****riangle/Two Isn't A Pair**

(Kelly's P.O.V.)

When we had gotten back from the meeting, he had kissed me, hard, and murmured something about picking up where we left off. I only had to give a nod before he backed me up against the nearest wall, lifting me up onto his hips. I fisted my hands in his hair and kissed him fiercely. I could feel the tension in his body, the two meetings had really taken their toll on him and now he needed this release. I was all too happy to provide, anything to calm him down. I leaned in close and whispered soothing words to him as he let his Ids control him, laying little kisses into his hair as I did so. I wasn't worried that he would hurt me; he was unbelievably gentle when we made love. He had been so concerned about hurting me the first time:

_"I don't want to lose control and hurt you."_

_"You won't."_

_"If you…if I…you'd tell me if I was hurting you right?"_

_"You wouldn't hear the end of it. Now come on before I lose my buzz."  
_

When we had finished we collapsed on the bed. He held me tightly to his chest, burying his face against his neck and my hair, his breathing heavy and labored. I ran my fingers through his hair, shushing him, aware of every little shudder that went through his body, whether from stress or the last remnants of ecstasy. His legs tangled with mine and he tightened his grip, his long, elegant fingers twisting into my shirt.

"Hush, sweetie, hush, it's okay."

"Did I hurt you? Was I going too fast?" He whimpered.

"No, no," I cooed, "you were fine sweetheart."

I kissed him, feeling the last remnants of tension leave his body. He almost went limp.

"I'm exhausted." He mumbled.

"Then sleep, I'm not going anywhere." I said, kissing him again.

He smiled and relaxed against me with a contented purr.

(3rd Person P.O.V.)

And as we shared that moment, a certain duo were looking in on us.

"Great timing." Jiraiya said.

Tsunade glared at him, silently grateful that she turned the cameras off twenty minutes earlier. She sighed and turned back to the screen.

"He's so…different. I mean look at him, he's…happy." Tsunade said.

"That's the power of love," Jiraiya replied, "the ability to change just about anybody."

Tsunade looked at him.

"That's not a line from one of your books is it?"

"What?! No, no…well it could be. What do you think?"

Tsunade huffed and walked away.

"Wait! I need notes!"

---

Somewhere east of Konoha:

_It was a beautiful, sunny day in Konoha. He was lying against a tree with her curled in his arms._

"_I've seen you looking at Mizuki."_

_"His hair fascinates me."_

_"I don't trust him, he's got shifty eyes."_

_"You're ANBU, you're incapable of trust."_

_"I trust you."_

_The dream then faded to a darker scene. He was covered in blood, trudging out of the village. It was night, but he could see just fine with the Mangekyo. He stopped when he heard the rustle of feathers and the whupping of wings. _

_"You're usually more owl-like when you fly." He muttered._

_"Itachi…"_

_He turned, Griffin was staring at him, her blue eyes full of sadness._

_"Is it…I heard…" she whimpered._

_"It's true." He said._

_She hung her head, tears flowing down her cheeks._

_"Manauia, he just appeared to me…Itchi…he said my ward…my ward is…Hatake Kakashi."_

_Itachi sighed._

_"I have to go," he looked at her before turning to go. _

_But Griffin leapt on him before he could, nuzzling her beak against him. _

_The Uchiha pulled away first. _

"_Itachi…" Griffin whispered. _

"_Griffin, promise me that you'll always love me?" Itachi asked softly, cupping her face with his hands. Griffin could see the dark splatters of blood in the lamplight, speckling his skin like freckles. _

"_I promise Itachi," Griffin said. He smiled his black eyes bright for once that night. _

"_Good…" he whispered. "I have to go," he kissed her on her head, but before he could disappear from her life forever, she grabbed his hand. Reflexively the Uchiha gave her claws a comforting squeeze. _

"_Promise me Itachi," Griffin gulped. "That you will never forget me," she asked. _

"_I promise," he whispered, not looking at her. "Promise me you'll look after Sasuke while I'm gone."_

"_You mean…" Griffin gasped._

_Itachi nodded._

"_I promise." Griffin said, her face serious._

_And with that, he pulled his hand free from her grasp and vanished into the night.  
_

Uchiha Itachi sat straight up in bed, breathing heavily.

"You okay?" someone rumbled.

Itachi glanced sideways at his partner, who was busy re-wrapping his sword.

"Hn." He replied, laying back down.

But deep down inside, he was wishing that Griffin was there.

* * *

Wall sex is hot.

Okay, here's a note as to why Ochi was acting like a hormone-high, virgin teenager in the flashback above:

He's not a virgin, that I am sure of. However, he's never actually...had sex (Baldwin: You said the S word!) with someone he loves with all his heart. Before I highly doubt he cared about how the person on the other end (B: pun not intended...or is it?) felt, so he was probably rough. So actually, while he's quite experienced in f-king someone, he's very inexperienced in making love to someone. He was so tense too, in the lemon above, that he was worried about losing control of himself and hurting me, I mean Kelly............ okay it's me.


	8. ReasonsSorry

**Reasons/Sorry**

(Orochimaru's P.O.V.)

There was a fall wind beginning to blow into Konoha. The trees shed their leaves and wind scattered them across the ground, whipping them into a frenzy. I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to find peace within myself; peace that I knew could never be as I read the name on the stone:

Sarutobi

I was so lost in thought that I almost didn't hear the sound of approaching footsteps or sense the unmasked chakra of someone with so much raw power.

(Third Person P.O.V.)

"I honestly didn't think I'd find you up here." Tsunade said.

It was a few seconds before her former teammate replied.

"If I was in the wrong I'm sure one of the seven ANBU you have tailing me would have stepped in."

"That's not what I mean," she said, striding forward, "I just…didn't think you'd want to come here."

"Didn't think that I might want to at least try to come to terms with what I did?"

_That I might actually be sorry?_

The unsaid words rang loud in Tsunade's mind.

_"Could he actually want to…no, there's no way."_ she tried to reason with herself.

"Regardless," she said, trying to change the subject, "I didn't think you'd be up here this early. The sun's only just risen and…"

He turned to look, his golden gaze as piercing as ever.

"To be honest, you look like you needed the sleep."

"Do not treat me like some invalid." He warned.

"We're all exhausted!" Tsunade said, harsher than perhaps was needed, "These past two days have been killing us as well. It's a mental struggle and regardless of your physical strength this type of thing is going to take just the same toll on you as it would anyone else!"

Orochimaru sighed, as much as he loathed to admit it, Tsunade was right; he would love nothing more than to be curled up around Kelly right now, savoring the warmth of her smooth and supple form.

"You may leave at your own leisure, the ANBU will follow." Tsunade said.

Orochimaru only nodded.

Tsunade was glad leave what was quickly becoming a very awkward situation.

(Kelly's P.O.V.)

I was awoken to a sharp change in temperature around my waist.

"You have cold hands." I murmured.

A little puff of air tickled my neck as he gave a small huff in reply, snuggling further against my back.

"Why are your hands cold?" I inquired.

It took him a moment to answer.

"I…had to see to a few things." He replied lamely.

"Liar." I muttered.

"I'm not." He countered, "I just…"

I felt his heartbeat quicken. I turned around in his arms and faced him.

"I love you, Orochimaru," I said, hoping the sound of me saying his name would do something to help the situation, "you can tell me anything."

I kissed him, letting my lips linger on his cool flesh in an effort to try and impart some heat to him.

(Orochimaru's P.O.V.)

It had been a long walk back to the quarters where Kelly and I were staying. But I was grateful for the fact that it was early and there were no people in the streets, no one to stare or jeer at me as I passed. I had felt their eyes on us the day we arrived, the looks they gave us were full of malice and hatred. I knew I deserved it, I'd be a fool to deny that I did, but to have Kelly subjected to the same amount of animosity as I was upsetting. True to form she had called them ignorant cretins and hoped they would rot in hell but I knew how she really felt. She told me she had been teased often in school and that it had made her a more defensive person by nature, but Kabuto had mentioned that the words still hurt her. I wanted to leave so badly; to be away from the intense stares and the words of hatred, to be back in my home with my lover and those who were unfailingly loyal to me.

When I finally reached my quarters, our quarters, I quietly climbed into bed next to my sleeping beauty. (Kelly had insisted I become familiar with Earth culture through a medium called 'animation') But my plan to simply drift off to sleep like I had never left was foiled as she stirred.

"You have cold hands." She whispered groggily.

I huffed and snuggled further into her neck, savoring the warmth she gave off, taking in her calming scent.

"Why are your hands cold?" she asked.

I didn't want to tell her. I felt my heart thud in my chest, every beat feeling as though it were about to tear me apart.

"I…had some things to see to." I replied.

It didn't fool her for a second.

"Liar."

"I'm not…I just…"

My heart was pounding now and I'm sure Kelly felt it because she turned in my arms to face me.

"I love you, Orochimaru," she said, my name in her voice was so beautiful, "you can tell me anything."

She kissed me, and it was then that I realized just how freezing cold I was. I rested my head against her collar bones (Clavicles, she would always remind me) and brought her hands up and tangled them in my hair.

And like that I finally fell asleep, warm, safe and utterly content.

* * *

You can complain that he's been acting out of character lately but if you've read SIMM properly you'll find that I developed his character to what it is now in that.

Story is moving along nicely now. Pretty soon we'll get to the real fun.

Sorry this took so long too btw, but school's started and I've got to get my CSI on if I want to make money in the real world.


	9. One Last ChanceStarting Over

**One Last Chance/Starting Over**

(Kelly's P.O.V.)

I smiled and gripped Orochimaru's hand as Tsunade and Jiraiya presented us with the treaty that would ensure peace between Leaf and Sound. It said, in many long and difficult to pronounce words, that Orochimaru and his ninja would not attack Konoha, and Konoha would quit sending hunter nins after us. (And setting off that freaking alarm that sounds like a parrot stroking out)

But it also said, to help bind us to the agreement, that should Lady Tsunade require our assistance, and at least they admitted how valuable Orochimaru's intellect was (Oh, and the virgin's. I guess.) (_Baldwin: He ain't got nothing you can't learn from House MD!_), we were to answer her summons. We would be treated as V.I.P.s while in Konoha (although that wouldn't stop the jeering of the locals) and offered ANBU protection. In turn, should we require the assistance of the Leaf they would have to answer our call, but I suppose Tsunade and Jiraiya were betting that Orochimaru's pride would prevent him from calling on them. Plus, it's not like they'd send the whole village should I manage to goad him into utilizing that section of the treaty.

And it was with that that I placed my mark on the dotted line, and together Orochimaru and I secured a much needed peace between the two great nations of the land of Fire.

(Third Person P.O.V.)

Tsunade, Griffin and Jiraiya watched as Kelly and Orochimaru rode side by side down the path out of Konoha. Kelly said something and they both burst out laughing. She smiled fondly.

"Penny for your thoughts." Jiraiya said.

"Well…I know that we won't go back to the way we were overnight, perhaps not ever. But this treaty, it's a start to repairing things. So perhaps, one day, we can be friends again, or something like it."

They watched as the two lovers kissed before disappearing from view.

_"He truly is happy now."_ Jiraiya thought

"All's well that ends well!" Griffin chirped happily.

If only they could have known, just how very wrong they were.

* * *

All's well that ends well, or is it?


	10. Watch Out For Weirdoes Tsukura Mono to

**Watch Out For Weirdoes/ Tsukura Mono to Kowasu Mono**

(Third Person P.O.V.)

_One month after signing the treaty…_

"Are you done with that stupid ritual yet? It's been thirty minutes already." Kakuzu complained as he watched his partner and the twitching body of the two-tails host.

"Oh shut up! Don't interrupt the ritual!" Hidan barked. He yanked the pike out of his chest and sat up. "You know, this assignment we've been given really doesn't mix well with my beliefs. Carnage is the key precept of the faith of Jashin… the dogma doesn't let me leave someone half dead." He said as he studied two-tails.

"It's that stupid faith of yours that's making us tardy."

"I know it's annoying, but it's my religion! And don't you start with that 'isn't there any way to abbreviate it' crap!"

Suddenly, a cold wind seemed to sweep right into the ruins of the city. The two Akatsuki immediately sensed the chakra of two powerful individuals.

"Up there." Kakuzu said, pointing to the top of a cliff.

Hidan looked up and saw, silhouetted against the glaring sun, two figures.

"Give us the neko-mononoke." One said.

Hidan raised his hand to block the glare and saw that they were wearing masks of some sort. The taller one wore heavy armor and a dragon mask while the shorter wore a long cloak, wide-brimmed hat and a mask in the form of a bird's skull. He was the one who had spoken.

"They want the host." Kakuzu said, standing to meet the challenge.

"If you want two-tails you'll have to go through us!" Hidan barked.

The two intruders nodded and jumped down to face them. The man in the dragon mask approached first, drawing a large katana so thick it looked as if it were made of stone. He paused when he caught a glimpse of Hidan's Jashin pendant.

"You," he said, "you are one of us."

"What?! No freakin' way! There's no way you're priests!"

"Not priests," the man in the bird mask said, his voice raspy, "a doctor and his dragon swordsman guard. We are of the mononoke, just as Jashin was."

"The what?!" Hidan growled, grabbing his scythe and leveling it at them. "That's blasphemy you're spouting!"

"Quit talking Hidan," Kakuzu growled, "We should finish them quickly."

Hidan smirked and grabbed his pendant.

"Jashin-sama, please watch over me, I am going to tear their intestines out..."

He rushed at the intruders, swiping at the dragon man, who blocked his attacks with ease.

"Not much of a surprise big guy," he said, "My attacks are the slowest in Akatsuki and the least skilled, so I just can't hit anything, seriously. But," he prepared to swing his scythe, "I'm sure as hell gonna try! Get ready, this is gonna hurt like hell!"

His attack fell short with a shudder as a blinding pain shot through his left side.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" He shouted.

The man in the bird mask had stabbed him in the ribs.

"Fuck you... you little shit, I am going to tear you to shreds, and then burn you to ashes, and then grind you to dust!!" He roared.

He attempted to raise his scythe again but found that even the slightest movement sent crippling pain racing down the entire left side of his body. He dropped to his knees, grasping at the dagger in his side. Kakuzu immediately stepped in, a blast of wind and fire sweeping the area. When their assailants were good and burnt to a crisp he knelt by his partner. Not because he cared, but because Hidan would only slow them down with a dagger in his ribs and likely complain nonstop.

"Fuck you and your slow ass. You LET that happen..." Hidan snarled.

"Hold still." Kakuzu said.

Without a moment's hesitation, he yanked the dagger out.

"DUDE! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THAT FREAKIN' HURT?" Hidan shouted.

This was more than the pain he experienced during a ritual. This was true, agonizing pain.

"I should curse that leader next time, dammit!" He growled.

* * *

Just who were those mysterious masked men?


	11. DevotionOath

**Devotion/Oath**

(Orochimaru's P.O.V.)

It's funny what a war can do to someone. Nightmares for one; I'm no stranger to them. A few years ago I'd be loathe to admit that I every now and then I wake up in a cold sweat, the phantoms of long ago fading as they were about to deal a fatal blow. Once Kelly had woken up when I had been in the grip of a particularly unpleasant nightterror. She had tried to shake me awake and, in shock, I had shot up, slid off the bed, hit my head on the bed side table which resulted in a minor concussion and a nasty gash that required Kabuto's healing.

(_"Oh are you bleeding? Yeeeaaah you're bleeding.")_

We shinobi are different, our nightmares aren't like those of ordinary citizens, it's why we don't keep weapons near our beds. I've explicitly told Kelly not to sneak up on me or try to wake me from a nightmare or nightterror. True to her character she promptly disobeyed me and nearly got herself choked to death. I wasn't mad, don't worry, I was more scared out of my mind than anything else. She knows now that I could seriously hurt her. Shinobi, however sedentary they may be, are used to having to be ready to defend, to kill at a moment's notice.

This brings me to how I found myself one later summer afternoon:

Kelly and I had been sparring for hours. At last she got tired and called it quits to go and take a shower. I myself decided to take a short rest out in the last few rays of the summer sun. I fell asleep, and awoke to find myself in an all too familiar position. I had fallen asleep leaning up against a tree trunk, my sword resting across my shoulder.

_"I haven't sssseen you ssssleep like that ssssince the war."_ Manda hissed from where he lay coiled in a patch of sun.

I nodded. I had noticed that I felt much more comfortable like this, as opposed to when I lay down in bed. It was a subtle, but present difference that up until recently I would not have wanted to admit.

"Old habits die hard."

_"That girl of yoursssss ssssseemsss to help though."_

"Yes…yes she does."

Suddenly, I heard a scream.

_"That wassss her. You should go and ssssee what hassss frightened her ssssso."_

I didn't even have time to formulate a reply as I dashed inside and into the bathroom. I found Kelly backed into a corner of the room, one towel around her waist and chest, another held in her hands like a whip.

"Th-th-there wa-wa-was a little-little flying thingy and-and it came right at me! I smacked it!"

She pointed to a small ball of feathers on the ground. I went over and scooped it up.

"It's a sparrow." I said.

Her face fell.

"Oh no!!! Did I kill it? Is it dead?!" she gasped.

I turned the bird over and it suddenly perked up, chirping and sticking out its leg.

"It has a message." I said, un-doing the little bird's burden and watching as it flew in circles around the room, twittering happily.

Wondering vaguely how none of my snakes seemed to take interest in it, I unrolled the small strip of paper and began to read the code.

"Dear Kelly. At approximately 09:00 hours this morning a message was sent to me asking for your help. The message was from the Akatsuki. Please come to Kahona immediately and meet with me. –5th Hokage Lady Tsunade."

"A message from those freaks who abducted me?! Why the hell would they want my help?! More importantly, why would they think they could get it?" Kelly shouted.

"I don't know but I suspect that more information is contained in the letter." I replied, "We should leave first thing tomorrow."

She smirked.

"Only if we get to ride the cats."

* * *

I was going to post these in pairs but since I'm not sure when I'll get time to write another, I thought I'd post what I have.

What could the Akatsuki possibly want?


	12. Return to Me Giving In

**Return to Me/Giving In**

(Kelly's P.O.V.)

It was a beautiful afternoon as we approached the gates of Konoha. The leafy trees had already turned their bright fall colors. Usually on Earth it would be winter, but right about now it seemed like we were only in the middle of fall. I liked the colors this time of year, even if I wasn't too keen on the dropping temperature, I'd probably just end up going back to Earth for the winter. The yellows and golds though, matched Griffin's coat very well. Speaking of Griffin…

"I wonder where she is." I said, "she usually comes to meet us." I said as we rode through the gates.

Then, as if on cue:

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME YOU-YOU-AUUUUGGGGHHH!!!! COME'ERE I'MA GONNA BITE YOU!!!!"

_"Oh dear…"_ Baldwin said.

In a puff of smoke a boy appeared several feet ahead of us. He had relatively short black hair, wore a Chunin uniform and was brandishing a katana at….nothing.

_"Nothing."_ Baldwin echoed in the voice of Dr. Robotnik from a Youtube Poop we had watched a while ago.

But it was right then that I saw what the boy was preparing to strike at. Almost too quick to follow, a yellow blur sailed from a nearby rooftop, slammed into the dirt and hit the ground running and swiping at the kid.

"Yer dead meat Sai!!!!" Griffin screeched.

"You ought to do something," Orochimaru said, "she's about to kill that boy…or worse."

I sighed, he was right. So I gathered two lungfuls of air and bellowed:

"GRIFFIN STOP!"

Griffin immediately fell flat on her but, overpowered by my command. Now I know how Kagome feels.

"He called me 'cat-bird'!!!" Griffin wailed.

"You said friends have nicknames for each other!" the boy shouted back.

I blinked.

"Really? You tried to nickname Griffin 'cat-bird'?"

_"Be cool dude, I think he may be retarded."_ Baldwin said cautiously.

The boy look hopelessly oblivious to the potentially fatal error he had just made. I sighed again.

"Griffins hate being called 'cat-bird'. Everyone knows that…well, okay, not everyone. But everyone who knows her knows that."

Orochimaru smirked.

"You really shouldn't bait Griffin too much, she's more difficult than I am."

That said Sanpo the cat began to move forward and towards the Hokage's office. Now it was my turn to smirk.

"The trick is to tell him no sex for a week." I whispered to Sai with a wink.

"Is that so?" he said thoughtfully before walking off.

Griffin turned to me, a look of pure horror on her face.

"A-are you insane?! He' retarded! Now he's going to go and tell him that!!!"

"A-ha-ha-ha…" I stopped laughing. "Wait…really? Oh shit!"

Not wanting someone killed our first day back in Konoha, I urged Kisaki onwards.

* * *

So Sai almost gets himself killed and we establish the relative season in the land of fire. Also, the Youtube Poop referenced is my favorite: King Dedede Inhales a Negative Ion. I'll have another chapter posted really soon, I mean it.


	13. Are you SeriousAre you Sure?

**Are you Serious/ Are you sure?**

(Kelly's P.O.V.)

"Oh you have got to be kidding me!!!" I shouted.

"Don't kill the messenger." Tsunade said, "I'm just passing the letter on to you. I guess they figured that since they didn't know where you actually are, they would send it where they know Griffin to be."

I pouted and sat back in my chair, reading the letter over once more.

Kelly,

I am aware that our past relationship has been somewhat tenuous, but in light of recent events I have to admit that we need your help. There is someone out there who has spread among us a disease that will surely claim our lives. As much as you don't care for us I must highlight the fact that if there is someone out there who can incapacitate the might of the Akatsuki, including our immortal Hidan, then they will surely become a serious threat to not just Konoha, but all the world. If you can cure us, we would gladly aide you in seeking out and destroying this new threat.

-Pein

"Why would I care?" I muttered aloud.

_"Why should I worry, why should I ca-a-are!"_ Baldwin sang, starting a rendition of my favorite Billy Joel song.

"If there is someone, or something out there that can do this to nine of the most powerful, S-Class criminals out there, it is certainly something to look into." Orochimaru said.

"I have to say I agree." Tsunade replied, "And as of right now the Akatsuki may be our only lead as to who these people are. If they're willing to help with this in exchange for your healing services I have to say it would be appreciated."

"And what if they're lying. We can't trust them, they kidnapped her once already." Orochimaru hissed. "We don't need their help."

"They only kidnapped me because they thought Baldwin was a tailed-demon. He's not and so my value drops to zero on the black market." I reminded them, "That phoenix that appeared on the battlefield, I think it was connected with me. Maybe it was a jutsu or a summon or something but whatever it was it scared the shit outta Pein and I don't think he wants to take the chance of it appearing again. Still though, I think I'll sleep on it."

We stood and I embraced Orochimaru.

"Go back to the room, I'll follow soon, I just need to talk to Tsunade." I kissed him, and he left.

I turned back to Tsunade, she was smiling.

"How is he?" she asked.

I returned the smile and sat back down.

"He's fine. I don't think he likes coming here but he'll never admit to that. The most noticeable thing is that I think his maximum chakra level has dropped since the curse was removed."

"Dropped?"

"Yeah. I think Sarutobi took away more than the use of his arms with that one. He's still really powerful in a fight but I can see that he gets frustrated when he gets tired performing jutsus he used to be able to shrug off. He just needs to get used to his new limitations."

"Limitations are probably a good thing." Tsunade said.

I chuckled.

"Interestingly enough I agree." I said. "But I have been worried about how he feels coming here. When we were here last, I noticed that he was anxious to be anywhere outside of our room."

Tsunade frowned but nodded.

"There's a lot of memories here, good and bad. For him, I think the bad outweigh the good at the moment."

"When you guys were growing up, you were in the middle of a war with Suna right? I mean, back on Earth there's a 'war' going on and I know any sort of bloody fighting can mess people up." I looked around a bit as I searched for the right words. "A few days ago I saw him taking a nap with his katana against his shoulder, and I know that's the field position for a samurai. He's been thinking a lot about his past lately."

"The war was something that changed us all, but if it changed him the most, he never let on."

I looked out the window at the view of the village of Konohagakure, wishing I could go back in time and find out what happened all those years ago.

---

The next day…

(3rd person P.O.V.)

Tsunade was working on what seemed to be an endless amount of paperwork when she heard the flapping of wings. She turned to see Griffin landing on the windowsill.

"Frankenstein and a fish walk into a bar."

"And?" Tsunade said uninterestedly.

"And that's it. Kakuzu and Kisame are inside the walls at the Akabeko tea house in town. I think they're here for Kelly."

"WHAT?!"

It was at that moment that Tsunade heard yelling in the hallway.

"Oh and by the way, I already told Kelly and Orochimaru."

She growled and grit her teeth.

"Alert the ANBU and have them escort Kakuzu and Kisame here."

The door burst open with a bang, causing Griffin to fall off the window and onto the roof tier below.

"I'm going and you can't stop me so help me Orochimaru!!!"

"They've already kidnapped you once what makes you think they won't do it again?!"

"Will you two stop SHOUTING!!!!?"

"She's not going with them even if I have to detain her myself!" Orochimaru shouted.

"Oh no you don't!" Kelly started.

"Sit down!" Tsunade ordered.

Kelly glare at Orochimaru before taking a seat, he followed suit.

"Griffin's already alerted the ANBU to pick up Kakuzu and Kisame and bring them here. If you two can calm down until they arrive we can sort this all out."

(Aaaand the story randomly switches to Kelly's P.O.V.)

I huffed and leaned back in my chair. I couldn't help that my empath nature had me desperately wanting to heal the downed members of the Akatsuki, even if they had kidnapped me once before.

"I'm going and I don't care what you say." I said.

"Please don't start." Tsunade groaned.

At that moment the doors burst open again and four ANBU roughly deposited a rumpled looking Kakuzu and Kisame on the office floor.

"As you requested Lady Hokage." The team leader said.

I peered down at them.

"Hi guys." I said apologetically.

They picked themselves up and stood still, with two Sannin and four ANBU in the room even they didn't stand a chance of trying anything.

"Please, we need your help. This is something medical jutsu can't cure!" Kisame said desperately.

"Several of us are sick, aside from us only Pein, Konan and Zetsu have been spared, and no one has heard from Tobi."

"What about Sasori?" I asked.

"He was killed about a month ago. Tobi was his replacement, the flaker." Kisame grumbled.

It was then that I noticed they were both quite unarmed. The Blue Man Group reject sure looked bare without Samehada across his back.

"How sick are they?" I asked, "Do you know who did this to them."

They were hesitant to answer, and as I looked behind me I could see why.

If looks could kill, the look Orochimaru was giving them would have dropped both them and the ANBU. I lightly smacked him on the shoulder.

"Would you quite the basilisk routine?! They're not here to hurt anyone."

It took a few seconds and another, harder, hit from me to get Orochimaru to drop the death stare. Then I turned back to them.

"He's not going to hurt you." I assured them, "Now tell me what's been going on."

It was Kakuzu who spoke.

"We were attacked by a two people, one who wore a bird mask and dealt in ninjutsu and poisons, and one who wore a dragon mask and carried a large sword. Each time the bird man hit only one of us after shouting some strange things. And the person who had been struck would become sick shortly after. Hidan was stabbed, as was Itachi, and Deidara says he had a foul smelling smoke bomb thrown at him from a bird-man on a giant crow. You will have to ask them yourselves."

I looked at Tsunade and Orochimaru.

"Remember when I said that just because the timeline has changed doesn't mean that we're out of the woods yet? This is what I meant. Ochi, sweetie, I love you with all my heart but this is something I need to do alone." I kissed him, "You've trained me well and I can look after myself with all my summons handy."

He looked at me, worry etched into every bit of his expression. Then, he took my hand.

"Do what you must, but be careful." He said.

_"We're off to see the ninja! The terrible ninja of…whatever this world is called." _ Baldwin attempted to sing.

* * *

Slowly but surely I am posting this thing. In two weeks time it's xmas break and then normal posting will resume.

Personally, I love the basilisk joke. He's cute when he's overprotective.


	14. Allergic to StupidQuarantine

**Allergic to Stupid/ Quarantine**

(Kelly's P.O.V.)

"Up, up, A, B, down, left, A, up, right, B, right, right, left, up, B, B, A, up-Noooooooo…ah damnit." I sighed, closing my DS, "why does Dampierre always beat me?! Raphael is such an easy character to play, and he's cute!"

Honestly, how can a frenchie fencing master lose to a frenchie gay-wad magician? And his finishing move is so…so…

_"Gay?"_ Baldwin offered.

_"I was going for something a little less repetitive but yes, gay."_

I looked over at Kakuzu, who was staring at me.

"Raphael's not real so it's not like I'm cheating."

_"I'm not even going to begin to comment on the paradox of that statement."_ Baldwin said.

I patted Kisaki and rode ahead.

"Yo fish-face," I said when I caught up to Kisame, "when are we going to get there? My ass is getting sore."

"We're close, another half-mile and we'll be there." Kisame replied, scanning the trees, "Are you sure Orochimaru was okay with you coming here?"

_"So he was looking for him, I see."_ I thought.

"Yeah he's not okay with it at all," I said, Kisame looked worried, "but he'd never follow me. He's probably back in Sound, worrying his little heart out." I sighed; I really hated to upset him like this. "Oh well, nothing a little makeup sex can't fix." I shrugged.

The two Akatsuki sweatdropped.

---

By the time we got to the hideout I was riding Kisaki in circles around Kisame, eager to get to work.

"Come on, come on, come on…" I whined.

"Geeze you're annoying!" the blue shark-man growled.

"We're here." Kakuzu announced.

I looked up, and there it was, the same hideout in the same field we had battle in almost a year before.

"You guys didn't change locations?" I looked around, "Yeah! You didn't! That's the spot where Itachi used Amateratsu trying to…burn my boyfriend alive!" I hissed, Kisaki copying me.

I looked back to the entrance and saw a familiar face, all pierced and ginger, Pein.

"Yo!" I called, Kisaki trotting over.

He bowed and led me inside. I dismissed my cat and immediately launched into 'healer-mode'.

"Look, I don't see why you got me. The virgin would have done it no questions asked. I'm not actually a medic-nin. I'm barely a regular nin."

"We requested you because we can trust you. You have access to medicines we know nothing about."

I sighed, no getting around it.

"Fine then, who's sick and with what?"

"It started with Itachi, he's down with a high fever. Next to be hit was Deidara, he's got an uncontrollable cough. Hidan has been complaining nonstop about a violently upset stomach and has been vomiting just about everything he tries to swallow. But the worst is our Leader."

"Madara Uchiha." I said.

Pein stumbled, trying his hardest to keep from showing emotion.

"It's common knowledge on Earth as to who is the big cheese around here," I explained, "it also explains why Tobi hasn't been seen."

Now Pein was gaping. I laughed.

"Elle-oh-elle, the look on your face is priceless!!!" I laughed. When I had finally calmed down it was back to business. "Whoo…okay…ha…what's he sick with?"

"In short," Pein sighed, "it seems to be all of the symptoms combined."

"Well then, looks like I'll get started on him." I said.

* * *

Just one of those string-the-plot-together pieces, also, I encourage you all to vote in the poll I have posted in my profile.


	15. KindSoft Spot

**Kind/ Soft Spot**

(Kelly's P.O.V.)

I really wish I could whistle, because right now I needed to.

_Whooosh, tweet. _

"Fuck." I muttered.

"What was that?" a shadowy figure rasped.

"My attempt at whistling in awe or, in this case, dismay at your current situation, Madara Uchiha."

The shadowy figure seemed to flicker before the darkness faded away and I was left looking into the eyes of a very haggard looking man. He looked good for his age. Gads I loved this world.

"You shouldn't be holding jutsus in your state anyway," I chided as I strode over to the bed and got out my stethoscope. (Thank-you Karl! 3*)

He shivered as I placed it on his exposed chest.

"Sorry, I know it's cold." I apologized.

To tell the truth, I did not like the things I was hearing. His heartbeat was rapid and his breathing raspy, I could hear fluid in his lungs and even as I noticed this he began to cough.

"How long have you been like this?" I asked, feeling his forehead as I did so, he was burning up, and I noticed how he was holding his stomach.

"For a few days. I was the first to be hit I believe."

"With Deidara," I said, "flying over the Land of Waves, correct?"

"You know my other identity then." Madara rasped.

"Yeah, but don't worry, I won't tell anyone. So, if you're up to it, why don't you tell me exactly how you became sick." I said as I took a seat and began to grind up some herbs to lower his fever, cut his cough and, hopefully, settle his stomach.

"We were in the Wave Country yes, flying back with the three-tailed beast in tow when we were attacked by someone on a giant crow summon. He was wearing a mask shaped like the skull of a bird. He was shouting at us, he called us members of the bird clan and said we had 'the bird's eye'. He wanted three-tails, called it a 'turtle-mononoke'. When we refused, he threw some sort of foul smoke bomb at us. I managed to set one of his summons wings on fire and the last I saw he had plunged into the ocean. I began feeling ill the very same day and attempted to separate myself from the others, but they slowly succumbed one by one." He finished, breathing hard.

I took a glass of water from his bedside and added the herbs to it. He drained the water and grimaced.

"Sorry." I said, "I know they taste like crap. Here."

I took out a leaf of peppermint and offered it to him.

"Thank-you." He said, his voice faint.

"You didn't infect the others; they were all attacked by the same people."

"Please…help them…" he was fading on me.

"I will, just rest." I assured him.

By the time I got to the door, he had fallen fast asleep.

* * *

So moving the story along a bit. I have a poll in my profile. Vote in it before I decide myself.


	16. Chicken PoxHurt

**Chicken Pox/ Hurt**

(Kelly's P.O.V.)

_"Okay…so that takes care of Madara now on to…"_

My train of thought was derailed into the Passaic as a blur of black, red and sliver shot past me. A door slammed and I could hear god awful retching coming from the other side. Not a second later, the door burst open again and a very pale Hidan was thrown against the wall.

"I was in the shower you jackass!!!"

"Fuck you Kakuzu! Next time I'll just puke on that nice carpet of yours!"

"Lovely." I said, clapping my hands together and walking over.

Hidan was standing up and wiping his mouth. He regarded me with a non-plussed but compliant look.

"Hey," I smiled, trying to lessen the tension, "Why don't we get you into bed and don't you dare give me that look you sly horndog you!" I sneered.

He chuckled and led the way. I noticed that he and Kakuzu's bedroom, why Pein insisted partners room together escaped me entirely, was the same room I had caught him doing his blood ritual before.

"So what seems to be the problem? Besides what I just saw." I asked.

Hidan plopped down on the bed and placed a hand on his stomach.

"I can't seem to keep anything down except liquids and even they sometimes come up. My guts are killing me and sometimes it's so bad I can't sleep."

"Life's a bitch and then you don't die." I smirked, feeling particularly witty.

Hidan growled.

I chuckled and began getting together the ginger root and peppermint tea. I, myself, cannot stand the smell of mint it gives me a headache. Luckily the teabag I had kept most of the offending odor inside.

"When did this all start?" I asked as I began mashing ginger root.

"Only a few days ago. Me and Kakuzu had captured two-tails. I was just finishing up my ritual when these two guys show up out of nowhere."

"What did they look like?" I said as I poured a cup of hot water from a conveniently placed teapot.

"One had a dragon mask and a large sword, the other had a bird mask and he was a knife wielder. They said something about Jashin being a mononoke or some strange shit. Fricken blasphemers. Anyway, the bird's the one who stabbed me, right as I was dodging the big guy. Kakuzu pulled it out after burning them up, I'm telling you that asshole was smiling the entire time, I began to feel sick on the way back. The whole puking thing started even before we got here."

"I don't think you're alone, from what I hear Itachi and Deidara are down too." I said, "Now, eat this ginger and drink your tea, it should help settle your stomach. I'm going to send over some real medicine once I am able to get some."

When I left him, he was complaining about how gross my 'herbal shit' tasted.

* * *

I do love writing for Hidan. I've had that 'shower scene' planned out for months.


	17. HeatCold

**Heat/Cold**

(Kelly's P.O.V.)

I had already dealt with Deidara, who accepted my medicine with a grunt and a nod on the pretense that his throat was too sore from coughing and then promptly shut the door in my face. So the last person on my list was Itachi. Pein showed me where his room was and I tip-toed in. The lights were low and I noticed Kisame sitting on his bed wrapping Sameheda. Opposite of him was a lump of covers. I smiled.

"How's the little guy doing?" I whispered.

"I can't really tell," Kisame replied equally quietly, "We got back from the mission and he just took some painkillers and went to bed. He's been pretty much sleeping ever since. You'd really only notice he was sick when you saw how flushed he looked. His fever's pretty high."

Figures, Itachi was like a wild animal in the way that he'd hide any sort of handicap he possessed in order to escape the attention of his pack mates. I settled down on the floor and began mixing fever reducers.

"So how did he get like this?" I asked.

"We were going after four-tails when out of nowhere this bird-man shows up riding a giant crow. He says something about Itachi having a 'birds-eye' and something called the 'mononoke'. We told him we had no idea what the hell he was talking about and he attacked. Honestly, Itachi just got a small cut on his arm, nothing a healing jutsu couldn't fix."

_"It's only a flesh wound!" _ Baldwin said in a poorly executed British accent.

"Yeah, the others have had similar stories; sounds like another evil group is moving in on your territory."

I folded the herbs into a teabag and set them aside in an empty mug.

"When he wakes up, make some tea out of that. Not too hot though, what with his fever and all. Other than that you can put a cold washcloth on his forehead. I'll be back in a day or two with some proper supplies. I have a feeling I know what this is."

Kisame smiled.

"Thank-you."

---

(3rd person P.O.V.)

"I will burn this village to the ground along with everyone in it!"

Orochimaru woke with a start. Nightmares of the past tormented him once more. It was the one of his raid on Konoha. It was of how he almost died. Something was coming. Something from the past, he could feel it. Too tense to go back to sleep, at least in a bed, he rose and took his sword from where it lay propped against the wall. He hooked the katana through belt loop of his hakama, feeling its familiar weight at his side. Old habits really do die hard, but he certainly felt much more at ease like this.

He soon found himself at a familiar location: Sarutobi's grave. He stared at the headstone, reading the inscription over and over again, as if he could sear it into his memory.

"Hey."

Orochimaru started and, in a flash, had drawn Kusenagi and taken a slice. But he paled and almost dropped the sword when he saw what he had done. It was Tsunade. He fell to his knees, grip on the katana shaking when suddenly, what he thought was Tsunade evaporated into a cloud of smoke. Orochimaru felt like simply collapsing, but he had enough dignity left to force himself onto his feet as the real Tsunade emerged from the trees.

"Very smart Princess, I can see why they made you Hokage." He sighed.

Tsunade smiled.

"Your reaction was priceless. I never thought I could get you on your knees."

"Hm, I do believe Kelly's the only one who can get me there willingly."

"You miss her, don't you?"

"…"

Orochimaru said nothing as he sheathed his sword and turned back to the grave.

"I can tell you do, you haven't left your room all day. You can't even bear to move here without her."

Orochimaru remained silent, but Tsunade could tell by his breathing and heartbeat that he was struggling to say something. At last he found it within himself to speak.

"I've been having dreams lately…about the war and…" he glanced at the grave. "There's something in the air, something…something terrible."

"Something evil, something ancient?" Tsunade asked.

The barest flicker of astonishment flashed across his face.

"Yes, you can sense it too then?"

"Yes, as can Jiraiya. Something's coming, I just wish we knew what. Perhaps the Akatsuki being ill have something to do with it."

"Perhaps…" Orochimaru trailed off, looking up at the night sky, at the millions of stars that were visible, "It's late, I should be getting back."

"Sounds like a plan." Tsunade said, offering a gentle smile.

And as they began the walk back into the village, Orochimaru spared one last glance at the grave of his Sensei, and silent words were spoken.

* * *

Did I trick you? It's hard to trick people in prose. Also, enjoy the sexual innuendo and Ochi's sheeeeeaaaaaar heart attack! (It's a Queen song. Go listen, they are the best band ever in the history of the human race.)


	18. Trouble LurkingHistory Repeats Itself

**History Repeats Itself/Trouble Lurking**

(3rd person P.O.V.)

Something wasn't right; Sasuke could feel it in the crisp night air. Because her 'leash' forced her to sleep in Kakashi's apartment, he was free of Griffin's watchful eye and that left him free to move deftly across the rooftops, searching for the source of his uneasiness. It wasn't that he hated Griffin, in fact she was a part of some of his childhood memories, always there if he ever needed something fluffy to latch on to. He knew that she had been fond of his brother but she had never elaborated much on what sort of relationship they had shared. She hadn't defected, even if it was because her ward was Kakashi, and that was enough for him to trust her.

He finally made it to the ledge above the stone portraits of the Hokage's, the center of the disturbances he had been feeling. From what he could see, there was nothing out of the ordinary, but he could still feel it.

"See, I told you the little raven would come."

Sasuke whipped around, shiruken ready. Two figures emerged from the forest, one of them wearing a black cloak, a wide brimmed hat and a mask in the shape of a bird's skull, the other wore a mask and armor that resembled the features of a dragon and carried a large sword on his back.

"The fact that he's here doesn't mean he won't try to kill us. Not that the hatchling could manage." The dragon-man said.

"Who are you calling a hatchling? Who the hell are you?" Sasuke growled.

The bird-man chuckled and bowed in a sweeping motion.

"Why my prince, we are of the great Mononoke clan." He said.

"Travelers from a great empire in the north, an empire ruled by the all powerful Kodomogami and the god incarnate Seteshigami." The dragon-man added.

"Gods? Why did you call me a prince?" Sasuke asked, still not lowering his guard.

The bird-man chuckled again.

"Why my dear boy, that is the position we are here to offer you tonight. You have heard of how the…what was it? Ah yes, the Akatsuki have fallen ill have you not? Of course you have you are sharp yes you are. Well we were the ones who did it; we have many other like ourselves planted in this land, searching for descendants of the Mononoke, or the Raven clans, powerful beings who possess the 'Bird's-Eye'."

"Bird's-Eye?"

This time it was the dragon-man who spoke.

"It's the most powerful magic known. It allows the bearer to absorb any magic he witnesses. He can become a god."

"Bird's…you don't mean…my sharingan?" Sasuke asked, bewildered enough that he began to relax his guard.

"The Bird's-Eye, your eye is that of a raven's! We know of your brother, and what he did to your clan. So unfortunate, so many clan members killed, so many potentials gone. We know how desperately you want revenge on your brother, heir to the Raven throne. He refused our request, and we infected him with our plague because of it. You are the last of the Raven Lords, Sasuke, and we can make you into a god. You can have your revenge."

Sasuke dropped his guard fully. He stood there as thoughts whirled in his mind, thoughts of revenge, of power, of vengeance for his family. Finally, he spoke.

"The North, how would we get there?"

The bird-man smiled, even with the mask Sasuke could tell.

"Why my dear prince, we fly of course."

He clapped his hands together and began the ritual for a summoning. But as he was doing this, a loud, almost mournful cry echoed throughout the area.

"She's found us!" The dragon-man shouted.

"Who?! What was that?!" Sasuke asked franticly.

"An agent of the Phoenix clan! Rebels who seek to overthrow the great Kodomogami! Hop on; perhaps we can out maneuver her!" The bird-man said, motioning them to climb on the largest raven Sasuke had ever seen.

As they took off Sasuke glanced back and saw that the sky was now being lit with all the colors of the rainbow, all alternating in flashes. And in the middle of them was a bright, golden yellow glow.

"Hang on!" The dragon-man called, "we have to get into the clouds where the portal masters are waiting!"

"Portal masters?!"

"Yes, they'll transport us to Kodomo's city! If we make it in time that is."

Sasuke looked back again, watching as the shape grew bigger, and he could pick out a bird-shaped creature wreathed in rainbow flames that seemed to set the sky on fire. He could only wonder what the citizens of Konoha could be thinking of the light-show they were getting.

* * *

And so we finally get to why this story is called what it is.


	19. NeighborsMystery

**Neighbors/Mystery**

(3rd person P.O.V. out of necessity)

With a groan, Orochimaru rolled onto his back, gasping for breath. Every nerve ending was still alive; he could feel the prickle of the grainy roof plaster through the thin blanket they'd laid out, could feel the warm night air drying the sweat on his skin to salt. If his heart hadn't been pounding so hard, he could have even heard the rush of the waterfall in the distance.

There was a rustle next to him, and then an arm fell across his midsection, followed by the sensation of damp hair against his shoulder. Orochimaru's own muscles were still jerking and twitching in the aftermath of the endorphin release, and being pressed so closely to Kelly he could feel the same little movements and trembles going through his lover as well. Chuckling, he lowered his left arm to embrace the other.

"So…." Orochimaru finally was able to speak. "Do you think they heard us this time?"

"Maybe you." Kelly retorted. "I kept our agreement. I was very quiet."

"Oh, I don't know about that. You didn't scream but I'd hardly say you were quiet."

"Well, if they did hear they should be thanking us for making their evening more…exciting."

Orochimaru put his free hand up over his eyes and groaned again, this time for a different reason.

_"Look, Orochimaru, normally this is *snrk* is a matter for the police to handle, but the truth is none of them had the balls to come to you about it, and *snrk* well when I found out why I *snrk* well, I thought maybe you'd appreciate it more if I spoke with you *laugh**gasp* directly. The neighbors have filed an um, *snort* complaint."Jiraiya said. _

"_A complaint? A complaint about what? Just what exactly are you finding so funny?"_

"_Damn it, Orochimaru. This…I'm sorry…just when I heard I *snrk* they can hear you, man."_

"_Hear me?"_

"_And it's mostly you they can hear, I guess, unless Kelly's yelling at you to pick up the pace."_

"_Jiraiya!"_

"_Now don't shoot the messenger here. I just said I'd talk to you about it because you'd probably kill whoever Tsunade sent over. If you ask me they're just being a bunch of busybodies, but a complaint was filed so…maybe she could gag you or something next time. You two might actually enjoy that."_

"_I am no longer having this conversation with you."_

If Kelly had any complaints about their life together, it would have probably been that Orochimaru, as loving as he could be in private, didn't have a romantic bone in his entire body. He considered, for the most part, romance to be nonsense. He wasn't about to purchase flowers when the garden was full of them, and was more likely to surprise his lover with a book of forensics or animation than love poetry. Of course fate had deemed to give him a companion who craved that sort of "nonsense". Except for the poetry, she had specifically stated that she couldn't stand the stuff. Quotes from books or manga then.

Through some experimentation, Orochimaru had discovered that with Kelly even a little bit of romance seemed to go a long way. It didn't take all that much to make her happy. While Orochimaru would put "making love under the stars" at the top of his romantic cliché's list, he'd actually found to his own surprise he enjoyed it. The roof was flat and the 'walls' were high enough, after all, and it wasn't like anyone could see them. (As Kelly put it: 'Only burglars and insomniacs have any business being on the roofs at this hour') He wasn't an exhibitionist any more than he was a romantic. After the neighbors had voiced their opinion, he'd discussed the situation with Kelly and agreed that their evenings outside could continue as long as they both made the effort to be a bit more…discreet.

Kelly, true to form, thought the neighbors were just jealous.

They lay together now on the blanket, and Kelly's index finger moved in what seemed to be random patterns over Orochimaru's chest. After a minute, Orochimaru had realized there was nothing random about it; Kelly was tracing his old scars. As much as he was embarrassed about such 'imperfections', Kelly had stated that she found them to be quite alluring.

_"We should really get up and go back inside."_ Orochimaru thought now with reluctance. _"Get a shower, go to sleep in our own bed instead of out here. Otherwise we'll regret it in the morning."_

He was about to sit up when suddenly above him the sky seemed to…shimmer. There was no other word for it. It was like for the briefest second looking through a haze of heat, and then the stars vanished into field of bright green.

"What the hell?" Kelly bolted upright, proving to Orochimaru that he hadn't imagined it.

The sky stayed green for about two heartbeats, then turned to blood red for about three, followed by a rapid-fire change to blue, orange, and yellow before reverting to green. The colors continued to change, no pattern to them.

Orochimaru's first confused thought was that although they were fairly far north he'd never seen the Land of Snow's Boreal Lights from Konoha before, but he dismissed the thought instantly. This looked nothing like the colors he'd witnessed in his childhood. It was so bright that as he stood up the colors reflected off of his pale skin.

"What's going on?" Kelly peered up curiously.

"No idea. I've never seen anything like this. Come on, we need to find Tsunade."

They dressed rapidly, hearing in the distance people leaving their own homes and beginning to gather in the streets.

Entering the small house and not bothering to turn on any lights (the light coming through the windows from the odd display was more than sufficient) they made their way to front exit. Until he knew what was going on, he didn't feel comfortable leaving his lover here alone, and he highly doubted Kelly would approve of that either.

They joined the milling crowd in the street, side-stepping those who were looking upward and not bothering to watch where they were going. So far, no one was panicking, but Orochimaru knew how rapidly that could change. Above them, the colors still pulsed.

"What's happening? Are we being attacked?"

"Is it the Akatsuki?"

"Was there an explosion?"

"I know as much as you do." Orochimaru kept to a stock answer. "I'm on my way to speak with the Hokage. Go back inside your homes." He knew his opinion here was useless but he felt the need to voice it anyway.

"Orochimaru!"

Tsunade met them before they were halfway to the Hokage's office.

"Isn't it wild? What's causing it?"

"My best guess is that someone is having a tremendous battle, possibly the Akatsuki trying to acquire a new jinchuriki. But I've never seen the sky change like this. To be honest I have no idea. Kelly?"

"What're you looking at me for? I don't live here." Kelly grumbled, put out at having her evening ruined.

"What if it's the lights from Snow?" Tsunade asked.

"But it's clearly not." Orochimaru said, "I watched them with you and Jiraiya; I remember what they look like."

"You invited yourself to watch, you mean."

"Jiraiya invited me. And I know you pushed him off the roof that time."

"I told you, he slipped on the ice. If he weren't so clumsy…"

"Ninjas please. As fascinating as this trip down memory lane is, it's really not solving anything." Kelly said.

"Whatever it is, I hope it stops. It's starting to give me a headache." Tsunade frowned up at the flashing sky again. "I'd love to know what Jiraiya is making of it."

"I'm sure we have enough equipment in the lab at home that Kabuto could cobble together some kind of barometric device. It might give us a general idea if it's weather-related or something else."

"Yeah, Glasses is good for that at least."

"Well, it can't cause any harm." Orochimaru glanced up at the pulsating colors again. "It gives us something to do in the meanwhile."

"You mean it gives him something to do, while as usual you'll just stand there and take credit for it."

"Oh, absolutely."

Tsunade looked from one to the other, trying to decide if they were serious or simply teasing each other: at times it was hard to tell.

"Wow, you're in a snit tonight." She commented to Kelly.

"Don't mind her, Princess. We were interrupted at a rather inconvenient time." Orochimaru said with a small smirk.

"Well, that explains why you smell like…"

Kelly opened her mouth, preparing for a tirade of epic proportions against the Hokage. Orochimaru slapped a hand over it.

"Well, with that I think we should be going. Everything appears stable for the moment. If the situation changes you know where to find me." He bowed deeply, jerking Kelly down with him.

With a last, lethal look at Tsunade, Kelly allowed herself to be pulled back down the street, still muttering against Orochimaru's hand.

Tsunade looked up at the sky again, trying to see a pattern to the colors and finally giving up. Well, between the two of them Orochimaru and Kelly would figure out what was going on.

Hopefully.

As they turned to leave, a small mob approached the two lovers.

"There he is!"

"It's all his doing!"

"Never should have trusted him in the first place!"

Before Kelly could get a good hold on him, Orochimaru was striding forward with a retort.

"If this was my doing it'd far more spectacular than a display of pretty lights! And if I were responsible, I'd make damn well sure you knew it was me! You'd be on your knees begging for salvation right now!"

Kelly sighed. Orochimaru's temper always did pick the worst times to emerge.

"Lord Orochimaru hasn't been out of my sight the entire evening." She spoke loudly. "Whatever is going on, I can assure you that he has nothing to do with it. Let him be."

The small mob disbursed, but did not look convinced. Kelly firmly took Orochimaru by the elbow and began herding him back to where Tsunade stood.

"Ignorant cretins!" Orochimaru yelled back over his shoulder.

"Honestly, I can't take you anywhere."

"They started it!"

* * *

Remember when I said that make-up sex was the best?


	20. I've Got a Theory

**I've Got a Theory/How Incredibly Insightful**

(Kelly's P.O.V.)

"Orochimaru if you do not pull yourself away from that scroll and take a bite of onigiri so help me Darwin I will shove it down your throat. And I'll enjoy it." I hissed.

Ever since the night the sky lit up like that Pink Floyd laser light show down at the Air and Space, and the morning after when Griffin had come tearing into the Hokage's office, screeching that Sasuke had vanished, Orochimaru had buried himself in scrolls and texts, trying to find out the source of this phenomenon. I don't think he was even aware of the fact that I had gotten the shipment of proper medicine to be sent to the Akatsuki. (Luv ya Karl!*)

Orochimaru sighed wearily and put the scroll away. He leaned on one hand and smiled at me. I smiled back and walked over to him, sliding onto his lap and wrapping my legs around his waist. We embraced, our bodies pressed against one another so closely it was like two pieces to a puzzle. He curled his fingers into my shirt with a contented purr. I gently kissed him on the ear, giggling at the shiver that ran through him. I knew all of his ticklish spots.

"You know I worry about you," I said, running my fingertips across his back, "you can't afford to lose any weight."

"I know…" he mumbled, "It's just that…I feel as though I know what's going on, like I've seen this all before but I can't remember where."

"Well you won't be able to find out on an empty stomach. So come and eat now."

"I'd rather not…I'd just like to stay like this."

That's when there was a knock on the door.

"Lord Orochimaru and Lady Sturken? Lady Tsunade says there's someone here to see you." said one of the ANBU guards stationed outside our door.

At the Hokage's office…

"Well, well, well, look what the ANBU dragged in." I smirked.

Hidan and Kakuzu looked up from the chairs they were currently tied to.

"Oh thank Jashin you're here!" Hidan gasped, "can you get these losers to freaking untie me? I can't feel my fingers!"

"And I wish they had gagged you too." Kakuzu muttered.

"Oh shut up!" Hidan growled.

I laughed.

"You should probably separate these idiots before one of them chews their own arm off, or someone else's for that matter." I said to Tsunade.

She eyed them for a moment before nodding.

"Alright, undo the ropes."

Once free, Hidan threw himself at my feet.

"Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you!!!"

"Stop being an idiot and get up." I said. "What was it you wanted to tell us?"

Hidan looked over at Orochimaru, who was leaning against the far corner of the room, looking very menacing and protective.

"Ignore him." I said, "if he does anything to hurt you you'll have deserved it, besides you're immortal."

"Right," Hidan said, clearing his throat, "Well, as I was recovering I suddenly remembered an old story that was passed around my village. The story of the Mononoke."

_"Oh boy! Story time!"_ Baldwin said gleefully.

"Does this story involve a cursed prince and a girl raised by wolves and giant talking animals? Oh, and iron? Does it involve the iron industry?" I asked.

Hidan blinked. Kakuzu, naturally, remained impassive.

"Iron…no…giant animals…maybe."

I smiled. "Do continue."

Hidan nodded.

"Well, like I said, in my village we would tell this story from time to time, of an ancient village deep in the mountains. It was said that in this village, they had learned the art of summoning demons. We called them the Mononoke. It was said that this village discovered a way to kill gods, and they became drunk with the power gained from consuming the blood of gods. It was only through the intervention of Jashin and band of powerful shinobi that they were able to finally be stopped. But in the end the war completely destroyed the village, leaving only scorched earth that would never again support life. But some people still say that a few of the Mononoke survived, living in secret in the mountains, waiting to strike again. The people who attacked us, they mentioned the word Mononoke, and our leader seems to think that they come from beyond the Land of Snow."

"Itachi has heard of his brother going mission," Kakuzu said, "and he is desperate to find him."

"This might explain what happened two nights ago." I said, "With the sky lighting up and all."

"No, no, just a second," Tsunade said, "there's no way we can launch an expedition north on a mere legend, and from the Akatsuki no less! If Itachi wants to go north and look for Sasuke he'll have none of our help. For all you know those lunatics in masks were from your village and just used the name."

"No."

Everyone turned; Orochimaru had been so silent we had forgotten he was there in the first place.

"What Hidan says is true. My own mother told me the tale but, as I recollect it was not this 'Jashin' who intervened, but all of the shinobi clans. She told me of the great clans of summoners in the north, she told me of how we were descended from the serpent clan and how those of nobility, myself included, would one day learn to summon the snake goddess."

"But this is all just a legend." Tsunade protested.

This time I was I who spoke.

"No, a legend like this , something that has spanned not only generations but clans and locations, is too big to ignore. Something like this is probably a truth coated in embellishment and grandeur, but something must have sparked the legend to begin with. I'm guessing that at some time there was once a great clan of shinobi who tried to take over the world. The other clans rose up against them and defeated them. But they can't have killed all of them, no one society is ever truly wiped out, it's impossible. Their descendents must be trying to finish what their ancestors started and they've been trying to recruit the strongest shinobi out there. Hidan is immortal; Sasuke and Itachi can use sharingan. It fits, and finding them is probably the only way we can get Sasuke back."

Tsunade sighed. It was a while before she spoke.

"You told me a few months ago that this might happen. That fact that you could predict something like this, and what you told me just now, I believe is enough evidence to begin mounting an expedition to the north."

"And the Akatsuki?" I asked excitedly.

"They will have to come, they would be valuable, if temporary, allies on this mission."

_"All right! Road trip!!!"_ Baldwin cheered.

* * *

Long chapter is long. Well, it's longer than the chapters for this thing are anyhow.

So the story finally gets to why I titled this...this...it's quite late you see.

the next arc starts next chapter: Into the North!


	21. Penny for your ThoughtsDeep in Thought

**Penny For Your Thoughts/Deep in Thought**

(Kelly's P.O.V.)

You think going to war is hard? Try preparing for it. Not that we were doing much in the way of rallying the Sound, the Virgin was taking care of that for us. But still, Orochimaru, Tsunade and Jiraiya had been at it all day with trying to rally the other allies of the Leaf Village. Needless to say it was hell trying to convince the other Kages that not only could we be trusted, but the Akatsuki as well. The whole 'common-enemy' deal was turning out to be harder to pass off than it is in the movies. But I digress.

_"And soon digest."_ Baldwin smirked.

Yes. I was currently carrying two Bento boxes through the streets of Konoha. I had finally convinced Orochimaru to get some much needed sleep, he had practically become an insomniac, tossing and turning at night. I blushed when I remembered how I had stripped him down to his boxers and how muscular and gorgeous he was. I remembered the nights when I would take the time to try and memorize every slope and plane of his physique. I took a deep breath and shook my head a little.

"_I hope he's up to eating something_." I thought to myself as I walked home.

I giggled a little bit when I remembered how I tease him about his appetite. He could go from eating like a bird to wolfing down thirds. I walked quietly into our room and walked over by the bed, as soon as I reached out to wake him he lunged at me, ready to choke me. I jumped back startled.

"Kelly, don't sneak up on me like that," he said coldly. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked at me wearily, "You know how jumpy I am."

"I'm sorry, I only wanted to wake you up for dinner." I said quietly.

He nodded and pulled me into his arms, nuzzling into my hair.

"I'm the one who should be sorry." He whispered against my ear.

I kissed him and ran my hand across his chest to calm his heartbeat. As I was doing so, I repeatedly ran my hand over the burn mark next to his heart.

"Where did you get this?" I asked softly, not wanting to push him to recall anything he didn't want to.

His hand came up to cover mine. He sighed.

"It was during the war. The Cloud were working with the Sand and we were surrounded…"

_The rain was pouring, mixing with the blood in his hair to form pink pearls that kept getting in his eyes. He shook his head to clear them away as he twisted Kusenagi in the Cloud nin's chest, effectively ending his life. _

_ "We're so screwed!" Jiraiya shouted, "We're drenched and the next Cloud nin that's on us is going to fry our brains!"_

_ Orochimaru angrily wiped more of the rose colored water from his face and was about to reply when he felt something searing hot hit him in the chest with full force.  
_

"What happened?" I asked, laying a kiss into the distorted tissue.

"We had been so preoccupied with the rain and the killing that we hadn't even noticed the Cloud nin hiding in the trees. He hit me in the chest with a lightning jutsu and stopped my heart. Tsunade managed to revive me; I had been clinically dead for almost two minutes." I felt him stiffen at the memory, "After that I dove into researching immortality. I couldn't bear the thought of dying, I had to find a way to stay alive. I became so paranoid I-"

I kissed him, smiling as I felt him calm down. His heart was racing but I knew that the nearer I went to the burn mark the more agitated he would get. Instead I settled for letting him kiss me back, and even let him give a few gentle love-bites. At last he settled back into the crook of my neck, breathing evenly and taking in my scent.

"I love you." He purred.

"And I you." I whispered into his hair.

* * *

Snuggle time!


	22. Crazy

**We're All Nuts or We Wouldn't Be Here!/Crazy**

(Kelly's P.O.V.)

It was a bright sunny day and we were relaxing under a large tree that was on a hill overlooking the main training grounds.

"I can tell you're itching for something to do." I finally said.

"Hm? Can you now?" he replied.

"Yeah," I said, draping my arms around his neck. "There's still a few days before we ship up north. You could ask Tsunade if there are any missions to do. Griffin just got back from one with Kakashi. Everyone's trying to tie things up before we leave."

Orochimaru snorted.

"And what then? Knowing her she'd give us a low ranking mission just to spite me."

I laughed.

"True. I can't imagine the great and powerful Lord Orochimaru running errands for old ladies."

"I'm a former ANBU operative and a trained killer. I'm not about to run off looking for lost pets or delivering messages."

I smiled as I felt Orochimaru curl against me, feeling his warmth radiating throughout my body, threading my fingers through his hair. It was so peaceful; I could have stayed like that all day. All day except that Jiraiya chose that very moment to burst into view. I screamed and Orochimaru made a sound something between a hiss and a growl.

"All these years Jiraiya and you still haven't learned about privacy?" he snapped

"We could have been doing it!" I shouted.

_"Awkward silence…"_ Baldwin said.

"Well," Jiraiya said, breaking the ice, "I was sent here by Tsunade to tell you that she's about to address all of Konoha on the expedition up north. She wants your help in rounding the Akatsuki up."

I sweatdropped. Nothing like babysitting a dysfunctional family of villains.

_"The going got weird and they turned pro."_ Baldwin said.

(Magical 3rd Person P.O.V.)

In a clearing not far off, Suigetsu and Griffin were sparring. Griffin spun a 360 in the dirt and, under the cover of dust, tossed something at Suigetsu's head.

"Ow! What the hell was that?" he snapped.

"Acorn." Griffin replied as if that was the most natural thing to use as a projectile.

Then, all of a sudden, Griffin flattened her ears against her head and groaned.

"Oh no…" she said.

"What?" Suigetsu said, readying his sword.

"No, put that thing down he won't hurt you…"

"There you are! I've been looking for you!" a familiar voice said happily.

Griffin slowly turned around to face Sai.

"Who the hell is this guy?" Suigetsu asked.

"I've been calling him 'third-wheel'. Go home Sai! This is a private session!" Griffin growled.

"Oh I'm sure you won't mind me watching. After all, we are friends aren't we? Isn't that why you have a nickname for me?" Sai asked.

Suigetsu just stared at Griffin questioningly.

"I don't know why but he seems to like me. He keeps following me around and I swear the kid has issues. I mean, half the time he's in my presence it's all I can do to keep his stupidity from getting me killed."

"He can hear you, you know…" Suigetsu said.

"Nah, it's alright. He's kinda like a dog; he doesn't so much understand my words as he reacts to the sound of my voice."

"You and Griffin seem to be rather close. Does she have a nickname for you?" Sai asked.

"What?" Suigetsu replied.

"It's 'puddle-boy'." Griffin replied without hesitation.

Sai gave another one of his fake smiles.

"It's nice to meet you puddle-boy."

The roar of flames swept the clearing as Griffin up a fire shield to stop Suigetsu from decapitating the young shinobi.

"What the hell was that? Why did you tell him that?" Suigetsu shouted.

"I didn't mean to! It just slipped out!" Griffin tried to apologize.

"Oh like I'm going to fall for that!"

The two were suddenly distracted by Sai's laughing.

"Oh, geez… You two are so alike…," he said to Suigetsu, "you and my brother, I mean. He was loud, impatient, unrefined, and his peni... Well, it doesn't really matter. But still... Yeah... Just like you, he took on anything he did with everything he had. Watching you somehow brings back memories of..."

"Incest?" Griffin drawled.

"Yo! What about incest?"

The three shinobi snapped their heads up as none other than Kelly entered the clearing riding her white cat summon Kisake. Behind her on the black cat Sanpo was Orochimaru. He spotted Sai and whispered to Kelly.

"Isn't that the one who told me that sex joke?"

"Yes dear." Kelly replied before turning to Griffin. "Yo Griff, Tsunade asked us to round up the Akatsuki and I was thinking that if you could sniff out your old flame Itachi then little boy blue shouldn't be too far away."

Griffin nodded.

"Understood boss." Then she pointed to Sai and Suigetsu, "you two, scram!"

Sai smiled and poofed away. Suigetsu did the same but not before making a rude gesture.

"Charming lad." Kelly said.

"He has his moments." Orochimaru replied with a smirk.

* * *

Leave it to Jiraiya to ruin the moment. Expect more of his c*k blocking.


	23. A Place to Feel SafeMy Reason to Smile

**A Place to Feel Safe/My Reason to Smile**

(3rd Person P.O.V.)

"_Scrolls are the stupidest, most cumbersome form of parchment in the world." Griffin grumbled as another one unfurled in her grasp and rolled across the room._

"_Scrolls are traditional." Itachi reminded her._

_ "So is bullfighting but that doesn't make it any less stupid." Griffin countered. _

Itachi Uchiha groaned. The light from the setting sun seemed overly bright thanks to the migraine he had developed on the journey here. He was just getting over his fever after all.

He heard someone move and the blinds were drawn. Then something warm and furry settled next to him.

"You awake Itchy?" a familiar voice asked.

Itachi cracked open one eye and saw a blurry mass of yellow and tan.

"Why are you here?" he asked softly.

"Your friend Flipper asked me to sit with you until you woke up. Tsunade's trying to round everyone up to give some sort of big speech before we set off."

"Hn." Itachi replied before closing his eyes again.

"Kisame said you had a migraine…" Griffin said.

"A side-effect of the one-hundred and four degree fever I'm attempting to walk off."

"I thought Kelly gave you some meds."

"The meds she got only help to cure the strain I'm carrying. Apparently it's hard to acquire medicine for the Black Plague without raising too much suspicion and alerting the…proper authorities."

"Yeah the CDC will get you every time." Griffin huffed, rolling her eyes.

Itachi watched as she padded behind him. He tensed when she lay the backs of her talons on the sides of his head and began to massage them in slow circles. He soon relaxed, letting her ministrations take the pain away. He smiled.

* * *

Short I know but I spent a while just staring at this thing and coming up short. Anywho, there'll be plenty of time for them to rekindle their relationship. Which is sort of platonic. It's complicated. So **REVIEW FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I NEED FODDER!**


	24. RitualToxic

**Ritual/Toxic**

The mighty Kodomogami, Lord of the Plague, stood on the stone platform and beheld his loyal subjects. He cast his gaze about the crowd, taking note of those who had turned up to witness the ritual he was about to perform. A dragon swordsman sounded the gong that signaled the start of the ritual and the crowd erupted into a frenzy, cheering and chanting as they parted to make way for the cart. Drawn by two crow steeds, a four legged version of the dark bird, and driven by a plague doctor the cart rolled up to the platform and from it a man was carried. He was a young man, and a hardened warrior. He had been captured in a recent skirmish with the wolf riders and would now pay the ultimate price. Stepping up to the altar, Kodomogami began the introductory speech.

"We are gathered here today to honor the great and mighty Seteshigami, whose power knows no bounds. He has raised us from the ashes of destruction and let our power swell tenfold. Today we honor him in a sacrifice of both blood and soul."

The wolf rider struggled against his bonds as a dragon swordsman lifted a stone chalice above his head, showing it to the roaring crowd before pushing it against the man's lips, forcing it down his throat. The man began to convulse and two swordsmen held him down as Kodomogami held up a gleaming obsidian dagger. He plunged it below the man's ribcage, slicing deep into him before plunging his own hand in. With a quick tug he wrenched free the heart and held it, still beating, above his head. The crowd's screams were almost deafening as he bit into it. In three bites he had swallowed the organ, blood dripping down his chin. Throwing his hands into the air he turned, making sure his black cloak swept gracefully behind him as he disappeared back into the castle.

Once inside, Kodomogami bent double on the floor, sickening heaves overpowering his body. Someone placed a basin under him and he immediately gagged, blood and bits of heart burning their way up his throat. Over in a darkened corner of the room, a deep voice spoke:

"You insist upon doing this idiotic ritual even though it makes you sick."

Kodomo glared as he cast a glance at Seteshi's great yellow eyes.

"I do it to keep the loyalty of our subjects. They think I am a god."

"I am the true god!" Seteshi growled, "I ought to be the one doing the ritual!"

Kodomo coughed and sniffled, shakily wiping his mouth.

"Hmpf, I'd like to see you try." He murmured.

With a clatter Seteshi swept his tail across the floor and knocked the basin away.

"And I'd eat yours for dessert!" He snarled.

Kodomo only gagged again, dry heaves now shaking his lean frame. Seteshi snorted and turned to two doctors who were standing by.

"Take the false prophet to my chambers." He said.

In the lair of Seteshigami…

"You're burning up, chicchai."1 Seteshi rumbled as Kodomo lay himself across his muzzle, gently stroking his wet nose.

"Your nose is cold." Kodmo murmured, laying his forehead on it, "feels good." He groaned and gripped his stomach. "I'm sorry about before…It's just…"

"They need to see us as fierce leaders, I know." Seteshi said.

He moved his great head and let Kodomo plop down into the nest of blankets the doctors had prepared.

"Rest now, or you'll never get better." He said.

Kodomo nodded wearily and wrapped a blanket around himself. He leaned against Seteshi and curled his fingers into his fur, drifting off into sleep.

"Odaiji Ni, Kodomo-kun." Seteshi purred.

* * *

1 Kinshou: Little one. Or at least as best I can translate.


	25. SnowSnowed In

**Snow/Snowed In**

(Kelly's P.O.V.)

"What is this?" I asked, picking up a white fur cloak that had been lying on the bed and holding it to my face. "It's like Sesshomaru's tail…" I said.

Orochimaru turned and smiled.

"A family heirloom of sorts…"

"You know, even though the word 'loom' is in heirloom it's not the same loom. It's the Middle English 'lome' meaning tool. Still though, it seems fitting that it would be something woven."

"It was my father's originally."

I looked squarely at him.

"You don't really talk about your family. Your biological one at least." I said.

I had asked about his parents before. He had told me his mother had died when he was 12 and that as far as he was concerned his group of Sound shinobi (the virgin included) were like family to him. I'm guessing that Jiraiya and Tsunade were included in there somewhere but he wasn't ready to admit that yet. Still though, he had never mentioned his father.

"My father passed away when I was young so I never really knew him."

"Passed away or…"

"He was killed on a mission."

I sighed and got up, embracing him.

"It's okay, you don't need to keep talking." I whispered.

That was three days ago. And the cloak had proven handy now that we were in the mountains, nearing the Village Hidden in the Snow. I was huddled against my lover's chest, the cloak was large enough to cover both of us this way, and I was enjoying basking in our shared body heat. As we came over the ridge, we could see the town.

"Hey I know this place!" Hidan said, pointing to the nearest building, "they have a hot spring!"

"Alright!" Jiraiya called, probably excited to do some more 'research'. That particular comment earned him a whack from Tsunade.

"Sounds romantic." I said, smiling up at my lover.

We, as in our entire party comprised of three villages and one dysfunctional band of villains, took up just about every available room in the town. Being a Kage, Orochimaru and I got one of the rooms at the hot springs. I sighed happily and flopped down on the bed, it was nice not having to sleep on the ground, even if I had been using my lover as a pillow most of the time. He didn't mind. But this bed was nice and soft; one of the best and I should know, I traveled a lot as a kid.

_"Even stayed at the Ritz once. Best. Bed. Ever."_

There was a heavy sigh and Orochimaru lay down next to me, with a whole heck of a lot more grace than I could muster. I peeled my face off the down pillow and looked at him. He had his eyes closed and was pinching the bridge of his nose, trying to stifle an oncoming migraine. Yup, stressed as usual.

"Take off your shirt." I said.

He looked at me curiously.

"I beg your pardon?"

"The shirt. Lose it and turn over."

It took him a second to finally understand what I was going to do and he nodded. I couldn't help but smile as the shirt was discarded and I was able to cast my gaze over his limber form. He wasn't, like, bodybuilder buff, but every inch of his lean frame was muscle, not an ounce of fat on him. I gave my trademark 'Cheshire Cat Grin' and slid myself on top of him so I was straddling his lower back. I brushed his hair out of the way, grabbed his shoulders and squeezed, earning a low groan from him.

"Good reason and logic you're tense," I muttered, "you've got knots on knots here."

"Hrm…being in Konoha is…"

"Difficult for you, I know." I said, pressing down on a particularly tender area.

Orochimaru moaned in satisfaction, I was kneading him into a lovely little puddle.

"You like that?" I purred.

His only response was to sigh happily and sink further into the mattress.

"You've really got to get back into meditating. It's a good thing I'm giving you a massage before we head off to the springs. Right now you're so tense it'd be like doing it with a plank of wood."

Orochimaru chuckled.

"I suppose I could, but I like it better when you do it."

I laughed and leaned down, placing a kiss onto one of the little scars that marred his back. He shivered and my hands moved lower.

* * *

I actually had this one sitting around for a while but I wanted to post it with the next chapter but that chapter is giving me problems. *takes deep breath* So yeah. I might have one up by the New Year. Or not. *shrug* It's like that one little hill in the path but there's a Snorlax on top of it and I don't have the poke'flute.


	26. Afterglow

**Afterglow**

(Kelly's P.O.V.)

I can honestly say I've never been into the whole 'public bathing scene'. I guess I just think of it like being at the pool except everyone and their uncle is skinny dipping and then I think of pee.

_ "…Overshare much?"_

Maybe Americans are just gross. Plus it's like a nude beach, everyone who's naked shouldn't be. But I digress. Orochimaru and I had snuck into a secluded area of the hot springs and were finally getting some time to ourselves. Immersed in the water, with my legs wrapped around his waist we were just enjoying the feeling of our bodies intertwining. He purred as I rolled my hips and I smiled.

"So," he asked after a bit, "what exactly is the history between Itachi and Griffin? They seem rather close."

It was hard not to notice that Griffin and Itachi were more than acquaintances; the whole ride up she had hardly left his side; it was easy to forget that she was really Kakashi's guardian.

"Yeah, they have a complicated relationship status." I said, "She was one of the first travelers and she sorta…malfunctioned. As a former evil villain I'm sure you know what it's like to have an experiment gone awry."

Orochimaru gave a wry smile and shifted his hips in response to me dredging up the past, even if it was only in jest.

"Go on." He said silkily.

"Right, so, she was sent here to watch Kakashi but for the first year she was in Konoha she didn't know who her ward was going to be. The gods wanted her to get settled in before they let on who she was to be watching. In that time she met Itachi, who was sill ANBU, and grew very close to the Uchiha family. A bond is supposed to form between a traveler and their ward, and vice versa; but for Griffin in that first year she was in Konoha she formed that bond with Itachi instead of Kakashi. That's not to say that she and Copycat can't work together, but her relationship with Itachi is more like what a traveler's bond is supposed to be. Even after Itachi defected from Konoha, their bond remained strong. That's why she looks after Sasuke, it was her promise to him. Even if Sasuke can't see it right now, Itachi cares deeply for him; honestly, I think Sasuke and Griffin are Itachi's whole world, not that he'd admit that of course."

"Hrm..that's quite the story, tragic yet hopeful."

"Griffin's had it rough, emotionally that is."

We were silent for a while after that, enjoying the warm water and the multitudes of stars above.

"What kinds of stories do you know about where we're going?" I asked, "the ones you said your mother used to tell you."

It took Orochimaru a moment to speak.

"She told me that the serpent clan was one of the most respect clans in the North. She said that we were descended from nobles, and that we would one day learn to summon the snake goddess. Our clan were master swordsmen, wielding two blades to symbolize the fangs of the snake. We were cunning, and fierce, true shinobi who lay hidden until their prey was in striking range."

"Did she mention any other clans?"

"A few. She mentioned the fierce wolf riders who roamed in large packs, and the mysterious bird clan which was comprised to several clans each allied to one avian species. She spoke most often of the kitsune clan, they were the masters of mysterious jutus and won their battles through trickery and illusion. She said that they were the ones who created the transformation jutsu, as a way to hide their fox ears while on missions."

"I do like foxes." I said dreamily, "I do hope the good clans still exist, we're going to need all the help we can get."

Orochimaru smiled and kissed me and we just enjoyed the afterglow.

* * *

So I finally got that Snorlax to move his fat ass. The story should be picking up from here. Hopefully.

Please review, I need the fuel. Also, read Find Your Love by A'isha Ishtar. It's super good and she's been so nice in shouting out to me that I thought I'd return the favor.


	27. ForeignFar Away

**Foreign/Far Away**

(3rd Person View)

"You are not ready for this **chicchai**." Seteshi rumbled as he lay down to allow the Plague Lord to climb upon his back.

"I'll have to be. This is the last pureblooded raven and I need him to ally with us." Kodomo said, although his voice was weak and breathy through his mask. "I'll be better in no time. I've felt this cold coming on for a while now and I ignored it. But it'll pass and this boy will be none the wiser."

Seteshi grumbled his reply and stood.

Meanwhile, Sasuke stood in the training hall where he was to meet the 'Great Lord Kodomogami'. It had taken him longer than anticipated to reach the Plague City because the Plague ninjas keeping the portal open were killed in a phoenix attack; no doubt coordinated with the attack they had barely evaded outside of Konoha. He looked at the two 'doctors' who were flanking him. It appeared that they were ninja's who dealt in poisons and relied on speed as opposed to the 'dragon swordsmen' he had seen patrolling who apparently relied on their large swords and armor to win their battles. He watched another patrol go past the open door, eyeing the strange creatures that followed them, they all wore masks of different shapes and designs not unlike those the ANBU wore back home.

"The great Seteshigami was kind to give our own summons the powers of the mononoke."1 One of the doctors said. They spoke so reverently of their lords.

"So those aren't real mononoke?" Sasuke asked.

"My clan was decimated ages ago. There is but one true mononoke left in the world."

Heads turned at the new voice and immediately the doctors dropped into a kneeling position, on the verge of kow-towing this new presence. Sasuke tried his hardest not to look shocked as the largest animal he had ever seen padded into the room with a softness he couldn't have imagined to come from such an enormous creature. It looked like a dog, mostly, but had long, curved ears and a forked tail. It knelt down and a tall man with long black hair, wearing a mask that mimicked the face of his mount approached them. He was the one who had spoken.

"Greetings Uchiha Sasuke, I am Kodomogami and behind me is my mononoke Seteshigami. We are the rulers of this kingdom."

Sasuke inclined his head, not willing to bow just yet.

"You said your clan was decimated, along with all the mononoke?"

"Yes. Years ago the animal gods deemed our clan evil, if only because a small faction of our clan had begun to dabble into the black magics. They set their people upon our village and burned it to the ground. My clansmen and their companions were slaughtered mercilessly. I myself managed to escape with Seteshi and we have been working ever since to exact revenge upon the gods who ordered the slaughter of thousands of females." Kodomo paused and his eyes gleamed. "You too, know a bit about revenge, don't you Sasuke?"

Sasuke's face hardened.

"My brother murdered my clan, my family, I must kill him."

"Good answer." Someone rumbled.

Sasuke turned to find, surprisingly, that it was the mononoke who had spoken. The creature laughed and his sharp teeth glinted in the sunlight filtering in.

"He may say he wants to kill but the question is 'can he?'." Kodomo said, "I will train you, in time, for now you will be training with my doctors, who were once ravens like you are."

"Why won't you be training me? If you're the strongest I should be training with you, not your servants."

Seteshi growled, his tail lashing and his eyes glowing. Kodomo put a hand on his muzzle and he calmed.

"You would be wise not to speak to me in such a manner boy. I do not need you to win this war, I'm only recruiting you because your assistance will make it easier. So remember, it is you who needs me."

Sasuke bowed his head, cowed into silence. He heard Kodomo and Seteshi chuckle.

"Heh, first lesson hatching," Seteshi rumbled, "mind your manners."

* * *

1 I actually should note here that a Mononoke is not any ordinary demon. Akuma is the real word for demon so if you're looking for your run of the mill demons you can read Clockwork Exorcist. A Mononoke is a demon born of hatred and an Akuma is just the 'imma-eat-you' demon. Just so we're clear.

* * *

Okay, so, a little bit of insight into the world of the Land of the Plague. Seteshigami is, if you couldn't already tell by the name, based on the Egyptian god Set who was always one of my favorites. He and Anubis that is. Review me plz, I need the loves. I know you're out there too ppl who favorite me and then don't comment. Just a simple, 'love you' would suffice. Telling **WHAT** you liked is better, that's like cookies to me. Warm double chocolate cookies with icing. Mmmmm...cookies. *drool*


	28. StrandedNoWayOut

**Stranded/No Way Out**

(Kelly's P.O.V.)

"FFFFFFFFUDGECICLES!" I growled as the snow swirled around us.

Orochimaru wrapped his arms and the fur coat tighter around me. We had gotten caught in a sudden blizzard and even Kisaki was finding it hard to trek through the mounting snow. It was cold and everyone was too miserable to talk, even Baldwin. Then, from out of the snow, came one of the scouts we had sent out, one of the Nara clan.

"There's a small cave up ahead!" he shouted from atop his deer, "if we use some earth jutus we could widen it enough to fit all of us!"

I craned my head to look behind us, 500 people is quite a bit to be fitting all in one spot, but at least all the shared body heat would keep us from freezing to death. I really, really did not want to end up like Otzi.

(Switching to 3rd person is not the proper way to write a story)

Orochimaru sat near the mouth of the cave, watching the stars. Everyone else, including his beloved Kelly, had gone to sleep hours ago but he just could not bring himself to close his eyes. He felt a familiar chakra approaching and turned to meet Jiraiya, who sat down opposite of him.

"Looking for the Aurora?" he asked.

Orochimaru shrugged. "Honestly I don't know what I'm looking for. Maybe I'm hoping to catch a glimpse of the lights we saw two weeks ago."

"You're actually admitting you don't know something. I never thought I'd see the day." Jiraiya said with that cheeky, yet knowing smile of his.

"A lot has changed about me since I met Kelly." Orochimaru conceded.

They were silent for a while, but it was a heavy sort of silence. Jiraiya was the one to break it.

"What the hell happened to us?" He finally asked.

It was a question that had been weighing on everyone's mind.

"I did." Orochimaru replied in a sort of accepting tone.

"Well…it can't have been all you…I mean, when Tsunade lost Dan…" Jiraiya said.

"The day Sensei discovered my experiments was the day our team disbanded." Orochimaru growled.

He hadn't meant to be harsh, but with such a sensitive topic at hand he felt like he was backed into a corner. And, like he always had been able to do, Jiraiya was able to see right through his indifferent, occasionally grouchy, mask and right to the heart of what was bothering him.

"I know you'd rather just try and forget everything that happened before you met Kelly, but you can't run from your past, it's always going to be chasing you, until you turn around and face it."

Orochimaru sighed deeply and closed his eyes. Silence once again permeated the frigid air.

"You were always unnaturally good at reading people. Your otherwise idiotic attitude hides it." He finally said.

Jiraiya smiled.

"We all wear masks of some sort. People tend to tell things to idiots."

Orochimaru allowed himself a small smile at this. Ever so slowly, the bond was repairing itself.

* * *

That was harder to write than I thought it would be. So I sat on it and then I came up with that whole 'turn and face your past' thing. And right as I was about to go to bed too. FFFFFFFFFfffffff.

But I am the most creative at the oddest hours. I kinda like the idea that Jiraiya is smarter than he seems. Sure he's still a creepy old pervert but he is one of the Sannin. Next chapter, Griffin and Itachi get down to talking about what's going on between them. That will also be hard to write. double FFFFFFFffffffff


	29. Do You Remember? Once upon a Time

**Do You Remember? / Once upon a Time**

(3rd Person P.O.V.)

"Admit it, you missed this." Griffin said.

"Hn." was Itachi's only reply as he sighed into her soft feathers.

It was true though, he did miss cuddling the creature, her very presence was a comfort to him. Once upon a time they had been the best of friends, and during the spring and summer had often trained together, taking naps in the shade when they had worn themselves out. But a boy and a strange talking creature being so close to one another had not gone unnoticed in Konoha.

_"Now I want to get something clear before we continue." Griffin said to Fugaku and Mikoto._ _The two Uchiha's had complained about how close the creature was getting to their first born and wanted at least an explanation. "I am a traveler, and all travelers form a bond with their ward. I am still getting settled in this world so I do not know exactly who my ward is yet, but I have a feeling it will be Itachi. This bond, it is something between love and friendship. It is a relationship of the soul, and a traveler can either be the mediator or the enabler in this relationship. Your son and I have most of the same views so I am guessing I am the enabler. If it is announced that Itachi is my ward I will come to be the guiding force of his consciousness, a living embodiment of his inner most self. But this is not romance, not like he would find with a human. The hugging is like that of siblings, or friends or even the affection one would show to a pet, strictly platonic."_

"So what am I now?" Griffin sighed.

"Hn?" Itachi grunted, he had been teetering on the edge of sleep and wakefulness.

"Nothing, just remembering having to explain myself to your parents…oh crap." She muttered, realizing what she had just unearthed.

"No, don't try to sugar coat things, I can't stand that. I'm actually quite sure that Uchiha's are devoid of the 'sweet-tooth' gene."

Griffin chuckled at this. Itachi didn't make too many jokes, and she was sure that they were even rarer than they had been when they had last met.

"I was just wondering then, if I was not your ward then what am I? Am I the mediator or the enabler? Am I the embodiment of Kakashi's soul, or have I not bonded with him at all?"

Itachi didn't respond at first and Griffin began to think that he had fallen asleep at last when he spoke up:

"Perhaps you are somewhere in between, forever treading the edge between Kakashi and I, forever between being a mediator and an enabler."

"So I'm stuck in the middle? How depressing." Griffin sighed.

Itachi shook his head.

"It may not be that way forever. This expedition into the north will change all of us. Perhaps when we get Sasuke back you will finally bond with Kakashi."

Griffin nodded, and they both snuggled in for the night.

* * *

I'm not too enthused with this chapter. Mostly it's an explanatory chapter. The traveler bond is so close that some people do mistake it for love. That's why the Gods use griffins, because for humans it would be such an easy step from traveler to lover. Also, griffins are eager to please humans. Like smartmouthed dogs.


	30. Fairy Tales CollideMasks

**Fairy Tales Collide/Masks**

(Kelly's P.O.V.)

"_Forecast: It's motherfreaking cold!"_

"Like I couldn't already tell Baldwin." I grumbled into Orochimaru's fur coat.

The blizzard was still going strong and was slowing our progression seriously. Upon Orochimaru's request, I maneuvered Kisaki over to where Tsunade and Jiraiya were.

"We were lucky to find that cave last night. If we should be stranded in the open…" Orochimaru said.

"I know," Tsunade replied, "Other than using Earth jutsus to make another cave I don't-"

"Hey! Someone's coming up the pass!" someone shouted, somewhere in the back of my mind Baldwin recognized the voice as Naruto's.

We all turned and ever so slowly a shape began to emerge from the driving snowstorm.

"Is that a deer?" Jiraiya said.

"What would a deer be doing here?" I asked.

The deer, pure white with faintly glowing markings stood there in the snow. I watched as it eyed the Nara clan deer and sniff the air. Then, it turned and went back the way it came.

There were mutters of 'what the hell?' among other things and Jiraiya had just suggested following it when more shapes began to emerge from the snow. At the head of a large herd of deer was man sitting on the very deer we had just seen. His scruff and generally weathered appearance led me to believe he lived on or near the pass we were attempting to cross. After a moment of surveying us he spoke.

"Follow me, you'll get frozen in if we linger." He said.

He nudged his mount in the sides and took off at a gallop.

"Oh boy! Hang on!" I said, urging Kisaki to follow them.

We raced through the snow, the wind chill biting at our skin. But just when I thought I was about to get frostbite we emerged from the northern pass and saw the most brilliant sight. The pass opened out into an enormous valley, and the valley was lush and green. The deer man rode up beside us and it was at that point I noticed he was wearing a mask resembling the face of a deer.

"Welcome to the North." He chuckled.

* * *

If you've ever been to the f-king weather website you know what Baldwin's talking bout. So we finally reach the North. Yay! *dances* And we meet the Nara/Deer clan who patrol the Northern Pass. Now the party really gets started.


	31. MythYou are the Original Myth

**Myth/You Are the Original Myth**

(Kelly's P.O.V.)

We were riding next to Ginjiro and his deer Ogano.

"We're the northern deer clan," he explained, "we guard the pass. Usually. We're moving though. Kodomogami has been sending his ravens to pick us off from the cliffs where we live. I don't know if it's to feed that monster of his or to use them in his experiments. Whatever the case, they recently made off with the forest god."

"They took the forest god?" Tsunade said.

"Masakigami has guarded the pine forest for as long as anyone can remember. Now that he's gone it's only a matter of time before the forest withers away."

"Let's get out of the cold, Hideaki-dono can tell you more." Ogano said.

I startled, I hadn't expected Ogano to be a talking summon.

"Heh," Ginjiro laughed, "I take it you've never met a deer clan member before."

"Actually where I'm from deer don't talk. Or any animal for that matter." I said, "Not that this isn't all sorts of awesome."

"Oi! Gijiro!"

We turned to see another deer clan member approaching. This one was riding a doe reindeer and wearing a straw cover, not unlike what Ashitaka wore in Princess Mononoke. Hey, straw is warm, did you think we put it in animal stalls just to catch poop?

_"You had to make a poop joke, didn't you?"_ Baldwin sighed.

"Gijiro! I send you out for food and this is what you bring?" the rider called, her voice was female.

"Moriko! These people say they're from the south!" Gijiro called. "They want to talk to Hideki-dono!"

The rider pushed the hood of her cloak back and smiled. She was young and pretty, in a sort of earthy way, and wore her hair in a short bob.

"Southerners eh? I thought that was just a legend." She laughed.

"I have to say we thought the same about you." Jiraiya replied.

This time it was the reindeer who laughed.

"This day is just full of surprises." She said, "come along then. Hideaki-dono is waiting."

They led us down a winding path and into a snow dusted village settled between the crags of the mountains. I felt Orochimaru shift uncomfortably as the villagers stared at us. Not that they shouldn't, our procession was quite a sight.

We were led up to a great longhouse adorned with a pair of enormous, decorated antlers.

"Hideaki-dono wishes only to speak with the leaders." Moriko said.

I immediately latched on to Orochimaru. I was not standing out in the cold. No sir. I followed him inside and sighed with relief as the warm air hit me. Then I opened my eyes and gasped. Hideak was a large white deer with glowing blue markings on his body. Charms and ornaments hung from his antlers and his eyes seemed to pierce right through you. He lay in front of hearth in the center of the room. I saw Orochimaru bow and followed suit.

"Ah, so the travelers have finally arrived." He said, his voice was kind.

"You were expecting us?" Tsunade asked.

Hideaki nodded, several bells on his antlers jingling as he did do.

"Yes. The phoenix lords told me several months ago of a glorious land to the south and of the people who lived there. They said that you would one day come to us in search of help."

"They told you the future?" I asked.

Hideaki nodded again.

"The phoenix lords possess the all seeing eye. A powerful spell only they can perform."

i _"I think he means jutsu."_/i Baldwin said.

"We've come to ask for your help, Hideaki-dono," Tsunade said, "one of our own was kidnapped by a group calling themselves the Mononoke. They injured several others in the process, several powerful people."

"Several powerful people we were trying to get rid of." Jiraiya muttered.

Tsunade jabbed him ribs.

But at the mention of the word Mononoke, Hideaki's eyes had gone dark.

"The Mononoke? They have made their way over the pass?" he asked.

"He attacked several of the most powerful shinobi in our land," Orochimaru said, "and kidnapped one with the last of a powerful line of genjutsus. We wish to stop him before he becomes a threat."

Hideaki finally seemed to notice Orochimaru, who had been keeping quite thus far. He was like that, he never spoke unless what he was going to say was meaningful.

"Now there's a mark I recognize, the serpent clan."

If Orochimaru was startled by this, he didn't show it.

"Serpent clan?" he said after a moment.

"Yes, your clan markings." He gestured with is muzzle towards Orochimaru, "around your eyes. You are serpent clan noble if I'm not mistaken."

I looked at Orochimaru, and then at Tsunade and Jiraiya who were staring.

"I do remember my mother mentioning the serpent clan." He conceded.

Hideaki chuckled.

"Serpents are a proud clan, and fierce warriors. Don't look so ashamed of your heritage." He said, "So you are going after Kodomogami and his Mononoke? Well we would like to help. Kodomogami intends to take over the world here and apparently in the south. But his forces are beyond mighty already, one clan cannot defeat him. We are already preparing to leave for the Kitsune Summer Palace in the valley. You may join us."

"The Kitsune Summer Palace?" I asked.

"The kitsune clan, along with the phoenix clan, has long been the protectors of the valley. If anyone can help us, it is the kitsune prince." Hideaki said, "We will summon the clans from there. We leave tomorrow, but you will find warm beds here for the night. We are a generous people, dispite what little we have to offer."

"So, you're a noble." I smiled.

We were curled together under a fur blanket. Having sex on the roof was one thing, but this was whole other kind of experience.

"The deer seemed to think so." Orochimaru replied, "Although I have no idea how they will receive me when I meet them."

"I can sympathize, I felt the same way when I met my Irish relatives for the first time. Perhaps Manda has something to say."

He nuzzled into my neck and let out a soft grumble.

"Perhaps, I'll see about summoning him tomorrow."

* * *

So I came into this thinking it would be one of those super short chapters that I would apologizing for but it's actually way longer. Although it may not show here.

I seriously considered making Hideaki a 'face-deer' like the Forest God in Princess Mononoke but I decided that having the deer just be deer is enough.

Crazier things are going on over at Clockwork Exorcist though, all sorts of Celtic Irish tales of myth and mystery.

The next chapter introduces the kitsune clan. Oh what fun!


	32. KitsuneSanctuary

**Kitsune/Sanctuary**

(Kelly's P.O.V.)

"The kitsune clan have long been the protectors of this land." Hideaki said.

We were riding into the valley, and the air was growing warmer all the while. I smiled as a few sakura petals blew by.

"At least we're off that freezing mountain." I said.

"Hrm, I thought you had fun last night." Orochimaru purred.

I blushed.

"Sweetie, we're in public." I whispered.

He just smiled coyly. I must have been having some effect on him, a year ago he would never had admitted anything of the sort, let alone out in the open where anyone could hear.

Suddenly, there was a shout. I turned Kisaki around and saw that three men in fox masks had daggers to Hidan, Itachi and Madra's throats.

"Woah! What the fuck is this?" Hidan snapped.

A primal growl brought my attention to Griffin who was lashing her tail and flexing her claws at the man pinning Itachi. Madra, however, was his usual calm self.

"Ginjiro! You dare bring Kodomo's minions to our doorstep?" The one pinning Hidan said.

"Hey, now!" I called back, "give us a second to explain ourselves."

The fox-man turned to me, and I bet he was glaring holes at us through his mask. But his gaze quickly settled on Orochimaru, and the marks around his eyes.

"Serpent Lord." He said.

Orochimaru nodded. "Apparently I am." He replied. "I think you'll find that most of us here have heritage in these lands."

The fox-man listened carefully as we went on to explain that even though Hidan was a psycho priest whose religion had ties with the Mononoke, and that Madra and Itachi were raven clan descendants, that we weren't working for Kodomogami, we were hunting him.

"So you see it's all been a misunderstanding." I finished, "now could you let the three stooges go?"

Okay, not the best analogy but I was tired, plust it got the foxes to relinquish their prey so whatever works.

"So you seek an audience with the Prince of the Kitsune." The fox leader said.

Tsunade was the one to speak.

"Yes, we seek your clan's help in going to war against the Plague ninja."

The foxes huddled together and began whispering quietly to one another. I tried to channel Kisaki's better hearing to me but all I could make out was a complex series of chirping noises.

_"Perhaps they have a different language."_ Baldwin suggested.

At last they broke apart and the leader said to us: "Yes, you will follow us to the Kitsune Palace."

* * *

Yes this isn't dead. I almost never abandon a story. I still have a WoW one that I update as the fancy strikes.

So we finally get to meet some of the other clans, most notably the Kitsune clan, the ruling family of the valley.


	33. Dead Man WalkingDying

**Dead Man Walking/Dying**

(Kelly's P.O.V.)

"This is amazing." I said as we rode up to the palace.

It was just like all the Asiatic palaces in my manga and history books; sprawling single floored rooms and halls, with a tower-like building in the center. This one was magnificent, and had even more sakura trees lining the way to the front gate. Waiting for us was a beautiful woman dressed in a golden kimono. Behind her was an enormous white kitsune, one with nine tails. Suddenly, there was a shout from behind us. I turned to see Sakura looking at Naruto who had a perturbed look on his face.

"What's going on?" Tsunade asked.

"I dunno, the fox started freaking out." He said.

I looked back at the kitsune and she was whispering something to the woman in gold who I could only assume was the Kitsune Princess. Then there was the sound of something rushing through the grass. Orochimaru and I barely had time to react as a small white fox leapt up from the ground, jumped across several people and landed on Naruto's head, bristling as it sat stock still. When it opened its eyes, they glowed white. Then there was a roar and everyone screamed. The ghostly form of the Kyuubi fox stood towering over the crowd.

"Holy shit…" I gulped. He was a lot bigger in person.

"There's no way, he's sealed!" Orochimaru said as he dismounted Sanpo, ready to take action if the beast attacked.

"Be calm! Please!" someone shouted. "The small fox is an oracle, she is only channeling the spirit of Kyuubi. He cannot harm you."

We turned to see the Kitsune Princess and the large kitsune approaching us. It was the Princess who had spoken. The large kitsune came forward and spoke in the most melodious voice I had ever heard.

"Kyuubi, my son is that truly you?" she asked.

"Mother!" Kyuubi said, in what I could have sworn was a relieved tone.

_"Looks like our bad-boy's a big softie."_ Baldwin said.

The spirit of Kyuubi ran to his mother and began nuzzling her, well, as much as he could in spirit form.

"Oh Mother, how I've missed you." He said.

"Is this for real?" Naruto shouted.

I would have stayed and watched the hilarious scene unfold as Kyuubi turned to softly growl at his host but I was tapped on the shoulder. It was the Kitsune Princess.

"Please, my husband." She said.

I saw Tsunade nodding to me so I followed, leaving Orochimaru and Jiraiya to do damage control.

"You really want me here? I mean, I'm not like you guys I can't exactly heal people with jutsus. I just like to summon cats and throw darts and I'm rambling."

"If the Kitsune Prince has what the Akatsuki had then you're the only one who knows the cure." Tsunade replied.

Actually all I had were a few vials of the anti-virus but a magician never reveals her tricks. We trekked down a long hall, decorated with many large vases and murals of foxes. I caught a glimpse of one of them and it seemed to be Kyuubi, or a Kyuubi-like creature, battling hordes of demons. I made a mental note to ask about it later.

Then we finally arrived at the door to the royal chambers.

"Please," The Princess pleaded, "my husband is in here."

I held my breath and stepped over the threshold.

* * *

Kyuubi's got a mom? More on that later I assure you. That and all the other clans we're going to be meeting. Trust me, this thing is too big to abandon, come hell or high water.


	34. InokuSalvation

**Intoku/Salvation**

(Kelly's P.O.V.)

"Okay so back up a bit. What do you want me to do? What's going on? I don't like being confused!" I said.

"The Kitsune Prince is very sick," the Princess informed us, "Princess Tsunade says you are the one who bears the cure to his illness."

I glanced slyly over at Tsunade.

"Princess?" I whispered.

She shrugged.

"Well if you get to play Princess then I get to exercise every right I have as a Lady. I have no idea what rights those are but they have to be better than normal people."

We were standing in front of an ornate door covered in carvings of white and gold foxes. The Princess opened the door gently.

"Rihiko? Rihiko my love I have brought someone to help you."

There was a form on the bed, breathing harshly. I felt Baldwin stir.

i _"Reminds me of me…before I…"_/i the ghost king shuddered.

"Yurihime…my love…" the prince rasped.

"He's running a high fever, and there's fluid in his lungs." Tsunade announced, checking him over, "and his heart rate is much too rapid."

"Well then, looks like I get to save the day again." I said, extracting the last vial of anti-plague. Also known as penicillin. "One shot of this and I'll be a miracle worker."

Meanwhile, outside:

"So…" Jiraiya said as he watched Kyuubi and his mother, Kareigami, nuzzled each other.

"Spit it out Jiraiya." Orochimaru huffed as he sat back against a lounging Sanpo.

"So if there's a fox god, and a deer god…doesn't it stand to reason that there's a snake god? Like here?"

"Your point?"

"What happens if you meet with your ancestral clan?"

Orochimaru hadn't thought about that. Not that he would admit that to Jiraiya. Would he be accepted he wondered? Would he be obligated to tell them of his crimes in the south? And what of Kabuto? Would he be considered a serpent too? Or did his lineage lie elsewhere?

Just as these thoughts were racing through his head he felt someone approach him. It was Kelly and that infectious smile of hers.

"Hey sweetie, the Kitsune Prince should be right as rain over the next few days and as Lord and Lady we get to stay in the Palace!" she turned to Kabuto who was being harassed by a curious fox, "Hey four-eyes! You're our vassal you get to stay too!"

Kabuto grabbed his glasses from the fox and went to join us as we proceeded into the Palace.

* * *

Heh, a little short but what can I say, I've been on hiatus! I'd like to thank Selena Estella who jump started this for me with her review, then next few chapters will be typed with love. Uh but let's see...next up we have some sexy times...then meet some wolves...then some snakes...then some birds...then it's story time...Yeah we gonna have a lot going on! It's gonna be good!


	35. Just a TouchCuddle

**Just A Touch/Cuddle**

(Kelly's P.O.V.)

We lay on the posh and plush bed together, Orochimaru lay on his stomach, his arms around my waist and his head on my abdomen as I stroked his long, ebony locks. It felt like it had been forever since we had just cuddled like this.

And in a sense it had, he had been so tense our last few cuddle sessions it had been more like spooning a plank of wood than a living person.

"I know you and Jiraiya were talking about the Snake God. Or Goddess." I said, purposely elongating the "S" on the end of that word.

Orochimaru chuckled.

"Yes we were. I'm a little curious as to how the Serpent clan will react to me, or to Kabuto for that matter."

"Yeah, four-eyes is kinda a mutt isn't he?" I replied.

"Hm." Orochimaru affirmed as he concentrated on the feeling of my fingers in his hair.

"Can't sleep?"

Itachi, who had been sitting on the engawa of the small home on the palace grounds he and the Akatsuki were sharing, turned to see Griffin approaching him. The lamps lighting the steps leading up to the house made her feathers give off a warm glow.

"Never really could," he admitted, "not since…"

"Yeah, I get it." Griffin said, sitting beside him and laying her head against him.

Itachi put his arm around her, and together they watched some small foxes playing in the trees.

* * *

Eh, short I know. But I am trying to get back into writing this story. From my notes I had some pretty cool stuff to show you over the next few chapters. Reviews help me write this. They do. Honest.


	36. DogDog Days

**Dog/Dog Days**

(Kelly's P.O.V.)

I smirked from my place in a tree as I watched Kabuto trying desperately to lose the group of kitsune girls who were following him. Ever since we had arrived they'd been attracted to him, and the poor boy had been…perturbed to say the least.

_"This is so awkward it's funny."_ Baldwin laughed.

Then, the air was pierced with an icy howl. I startled and fell right off of the branch I had been sitting on, only to be caught by two of my favorite arms in the world.

"Hi sweetie." I said as Orochimaru helped me to my feet. "Any idea what the hell that was?"

"My guess is it's the Wolf clan." He replied.

We made our way to the entrance of the Kitsune Palace where a group had gathered. In it I spotted the Inuzaka clan with their respective summons, as well as Griffin who was up in the air, probably spotting for Itachi. As I looked into the distance I saw a cloud of dust coming towards us. More howls sounded and after a bit the Wolf clan was upon us, with their God leading the way.

They all looked fierce; men and woman alike sat astride on their panting mounts, their faces streaked with war-paint. The Wolf god himself was even more impressive, he was a huge, dark grey, shaggy creature with white under his chin and big, bushy white eyebrows.

"Greetings Kareigami," the wolf said, "it has been too long."

I turned around to see the Kitsune Goddess behind me, with the ghostly image of Kyuubi in tow. We had asked her about the 9 tailed demon being her son, but she had politely requested that we wait for all the clans to assemble before telling us her story.

* * *

I keep telling everyone that I will finish this story. No story left behind! Even the really crap ones!

Next up, my snake lord has an interesting meeting!

"Urufugami, I am glad to see you are well. Yours is the first clan to arrive here."

"Of course, we wolves are swift to answer the call."

The wolf clan went 'Hah!' in response and shook their spears.

"We shall make camp by the river then. To me my clansmen!" Urufu said, trotting off.

Orochimaru and I watched as the Inuzaka clan exchanged a few brief words with the some of the wolves and their riders before they went their own ways.

"Astounding." Orochimaru said.

"I love Urufu's eyebrows." I replied.


	37. PhantomsBeauty Queen

**Phantoms /Beauty Queen**

(Kelly's P.O.V.)

I hummed softly as I stroked my lover's hair. You know this by now but I'll say it again, I love guys with long hair. Guys who can wear it anyway.

"How ya' doin' babe?" I asked.

"Hrm…content." he said sleepily.

We were lying under the tree I had fallen out of the previous chapter. Snakes loved to bask in the sun after all, cats too for that matter. We really were a couple. And I knew that both of us were wishing we could lie here like this forever, without a care in the world.

"Quickly! Quickly!" a small voice chirped.

We sat up to see a small silver fox jumping up and down.

"Quickly! Follow! Quickly!" it said.

Orochimaru looked at me and I shrugged. We got up and began following the fox who kept running ahead and then back to us excitedly. At last we reached the entrance to the Kitsune palace and I felt Orochimaru freeze. A towering, feathered snake loomed over the building, its ruby scales glistening in the sunlight. Surrounding it were several smaller snakes, although size was quite relative here, they still could look over the rooftops.

I was about to tell Orochimaru to summon Manda but he was way ahead of me, biting his thumb to draw blood and making the seals. In a flash and a bang and a cloud of smoke the great purple snake appeared.

"Ah…" he said in a way that suggested he knew exactly what was going on.

We proceeded towards the new arrivals and bowed before them.

"Mother…" Manda said.

This was not the same sort of lovey-dovey greeting Kyuubi and his mom went through, Manda greeted his mother with a sort of respect usually reserved for someone you feared. I can't say I expected much from the big guy though.

"Manda…" the snake queen said, inclining her head slightly, "I see you have one of ours in tow, and a noble no less. You have done well."

Manda was quiet. Then, a woman clad in a strapping red dress emerged from behind the snake queen's bulk.

"Greetings Lord, I am Izumi. Now, pray tell how one of our own ended up so far to the South and why he is with such a strange woman."

* * *

Ooh, I uploaded this on DA and then didn't here. Must've been really late. Actually, it's kinda late now. Anyway, I'd like to shout-out to whoever is in the room about The Shy Newbie and her story Sounds of the Aftermath. It's really good. Very sexy in that way I'm sadistic and think things are sexy where others wouldn't use that word.


	38. SpecialSuperstition

**Special/Superstitious**

(Ochi's P.O.V.)

It took me a few moments to explain the story of how Kelly and I came to be together, and why we had journeyed so far North. But when I had finished, I could see Izumi smirking.

"So you are a descendent of the nobles who left after the war. Still, we honor the fact that you are of noble blood. We would wish to train you in our ways, our fighting style, so that you may become a full member of our illustrious clan."

"You…wish to train me?" I asked.

"That's going to be a problem; he has a problem with authority. Mostly because he is one." Kelly said.

"I can learn." I assured her.

"I do hope so." The snake queen herself said, her voice was deep yet still female, "If you fail the trials of our clan you will be excommunicated. And we are very harsh in our training, even more so than those Wolf barbarians."

"I can assure you, my Queen, that I shall rise to any challenge you bring before me." I said, feeling my blood simmer a little.

Then I felt Kelly's hand on my shoulder and calmed. I swear, she must have some hidden talent for bringing peace.

"Good," the snake queen said, "You can being your training once the rest of the clans gather. I believe the cat and bird clans have yet to arrive. Now come, my clansmen, let us see what Urufu has been up to."

And with that they slithered off, and I was left wondering exactly how hard my 'training' was going to be.

* * *

No, I'm not dead. And I really wish those of you who open that update email and click on the corresponding link would comment. Because it lets me know that I still have an audience. :) I do plan on finishing this story, I reall do, it just needs a jumpstart. But I have big things planned! Cool things! Awesome things!

Gee I wish I could make these backstory chapters more interesting.


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